Friday, February 22, 2008

More Military Torture Of The Innocent
Especially those horrid Marines!!

Right when the question of waterboarding again rears it's ugly head... this story breaks. If you thought the waterboarding of a whopping three terrorists was just too too much for your tender sensibilities, wait until you read what the crack team of investigative journalists at CNN (Caveman News Network) have uncovered!

US Military Tortures Hundreds Of Thousands

WASHINGTON, DC (Caveman News Network) At US Marine bases throughout the world, there has been an ongoing, but relatively unknown to the American people, systematic assembly line-style torture of hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of American citizens. And this is nothing new. It's been going on for decades.

The physical and psychological torture begins with teen-agers. Boys, really. Many of whom have more peach fuzz than stubble on their faces. But it doesn't end there. It goes all the way to men in their forties.

A typical torture session begins with scores, sometimes hundreds, of Americans lined up against the wall of a building. The building in question is where the torture itself takes place. It may be a relatively new cinder block structure, or a post-WWII Quonset Hut, both sans windows. But what they all have in common is the sign above the doorway -- GAS CHAMBER.

The fear/apprehension of those ordered into line is almost as thick as the CS Gas that the so-called "instructors" are burning inside. In fact, the gas is so thick, it rivals the best pea soup fog that ever enveloped San Francisco. One can barely see from one side of the chamber to the other.

Almost as if the punchline to a sick joke, the soon-to-be-tortured are allowed to wear protective gas masks. But that won't last long. As soon as they are all ordered in... the doors slam shut behind them. Depending on the level of sadism in the "Chief Instructor", the torturees are ordered to remove their masks and either sing The Marines Hymn, do jumping jacks and push-ups, or simply scream out their name, rank and Social Security number. Or possibly all three. All the while, inhaling lungfuls of searing tear gas.
Anyone who goes into a panic is immediately slammed against the wall and screamed at and belittled by one of the torturers, sorry... "Instructors".

Once all those inside have satisfied the diabolical lusts of the "Chief Instructor", the torturees are mercifully allowed to exit. Everyone has seeming bucketfuls of mucus pouring out of their nostrils. Everyone has their eyes swollen red as if they've been sandpapered. Some are vomiting.

And if they think this is over, they're wrong. At a minimum, they'll be doing this again in one year... and every year they're in the Marine Corps.
What I just described was just one portion of Marine Corps NBC (Nuclear, Biological and Chemical) Qualifications. Every Marine goes through it. From Boot Camp/OCS, to Marines with more Hash Marks on their sleeves than you can count, everyone goes through the dreaded Gas Chamber every year at a minimum.

And I'm quite sure that the other Branches of the Armed Forces have similar training evolutions that are just as nasty and unpleasant. Just one example comes to mind -- Navy Damage Control excersizes. Thousands of gallons of water rushing into a water-tight, confined space. I'd be willing to bet that more than one sailor spazzed-out and honestly thought he was drowning. Torture?

So before you buy into this load of crap that waterboarding is torture, don't forget that there are plenty of things that our boys go through that could be qualified as "torture". Should I even bring up those nasty 20 mile speed marches I use to go on... complete with about 75 pounds of shit strapped to my body? How many of you have ever poured blood out of your boots? I have. Does that qualify as "torture"? Hardly. But we didn't bitch about it, we just did it because it made us hard. After all, you don't sharpen a bayonet with a feather.

And don't forget that Marines (and sailors, soldiers, airmen, and Coasties) who go through SERE School are also waterboarded. It's training... not torture.

There's an old saying in The Corps -- "you don't have to train to be miserable, but you do have to train to endure misery".


Blogger Coffee Catholic said...

As a Sailor I only went through the gas chamber once and it was enough to give me a new understanding of "suffering." But still! I didn't whine and look for pity or cry "torture!" I understood that in order to fight in a war you had to be hardened and tough I took it like a woman because I had signed the line and said to my country, "Train me to be a Sailor ~ not a ninny!"

I think the limp-wristed ninny Liberals should all be sent through at *least* US Navy bootcamp so they can learn a bit about struggling and suffering! They have it sooooo easy they have to find and invent stuff to whine and cry and protest about! "I'm offended by this!" "You hurt my widdle feelings by that!" "Oh the poor girl-raping, woman-murding, white-person-head-carving-off Muslim terrorists got waterboarded!"

Cue glowing red eyes and fangs...

4:31 AM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...


"you don't sharpen a bayonet with a feather" -- hadn't heard that one before, but so true.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Patrick said...

The Army does this too - the memories are still vivid in my mind.

That said, the comparison to torture is not really correct. All the Marines who go through this training are VOLUNTEERS, not prisoners.

If, say, we were to round up a bunch of people off the street because we think they might be bad guys, and we then sent them to the gas chamber whether they liked it or not, the comparison would be more accurate.

1:14 PM  
Blogger Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Wow. Just...WOW. I have a new admiration (as if I needed one!) for the toughies in the services. REAL MEN. NICE!

5:50 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Of course I'm not trying to equate gas chamber training to torture.

What I'm trying to illustrate, is that there really are certain training techniques that we use on our own troops, such as waterboarding, that we also happen to have used on 3 prisoners down Gitmo way... and all of a sudden, the milqtoasts scream "TORTURE!!!"

That's all I'm tryin' to point out.

8:02 PM  
Blogger ignorant redneck said...

Ahhh Yessss--the CS chamber--every year for us doggies too. And, If you're old enough, you can probably remember the days of free play chemical training, when they used to throw cs at us at odd moments in the field. (There was an NBC NCO who gassed us (his own company, mind you!) during chow--it was the only time he could find us all together (exil tng). Some how, his nice red sports car got covered by od paint befor we finished recovery from the field).

But the very worst thing I remember enduring was a rain storm in wisconsin in june. Not allowed rain gear (we were sneekin') and 40 deg steady temp--for 5 days. (In the old tropical cammies--befor bdu's etc). Give me the chamber, any time rather than that.

6:24 PM  

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