The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

The Car Crash of Blogs. You Don't Want To, But You Just Can't Help But Look

Friday, February 01, 2008

In Light That I'm Now A "Professional Catholic"...
It's time to join my brothers on strike!!

As you've probably already seen, I've sold-out and became a "Professional Catholic". Specifically, because I've added a PayPal Donate button to the blog. And a couple of folks have actually given to the Heretic Whisperer Tour 2008 and the *CAA!

So like that theological thug Martin Luther once said, if you're going to sin, sin boldly. With that in mind, I'm joining my brethren in the Writers Guild, AND I'M GOING ON STRIKE!!!

So while I'm on hiatus, I've turned over the blog to Cave-Intern to whittle together the same thing the networks are doing --- creating mindless reality shows.

So without further adieu, Ladies & Gentlemen...

CAVEMAN!
The Reality Show

SHHHHHHH! Here we see The Caveman in his natural habitat; his bed. This is the same place you can find him on Saturday mornings until cartoons come on TV.
A clean Caveman is a happy Caveman.
Once Caveman is up and about (and cartoons are over), it's time to expand his mind. Here we see him attempting to understand the intricacies of a tripartite form of government found in a republican democracy. Fat Chance.
Caveman's tired and confused now... so it's back to his natural habitat for a noon-time rack session. SHHHHHH!
There would be a picture of The Caveman eating placed here, but there are some things that common decency simply won't allow.

Caveman attempts to increase his theologically smartitudiness. No such luck. Suffice it to say that he believes. Let's leave it at that.
When the Baltimore Catechism is just a little too much to handle, there's ALWAYS time for weapons maintenance. A clean shotgun is a happy shotgun. Gee, I wonder if this thing's unloaded?
One more shot at self-improvement. Ahhhhh..... that's better!
It's been a long day. Time for beddie-bye. If you see The Caveman moving around a lot in his sleep, he's just running in his sleep dreaming of chasing down mastodons... or maybe Roman Protestants. SHHHHH!
*Caveman Annual Appeal

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 4:59 AM

5 Comments:

Blogger Kit said...

Dear Cavey,

First, thanks for keeping the shower scene to a headshot. Second, don't be gone too long, and be sure to bring your CPS [cave positioning system] unit with you, and finally...

A shotgun. In the bedroom. How... illuminating. Please give my regards to Mrs. Cavey...does she know there are shelters out there?

;-)
-Kit

PS You got an "E" from me, too.

10:58 AM  
Blogger JesusFreak84 said...

Today was one of those days where I needed to laugh my rear end off at SOMETHING, and you have provided that service. Thanks. XD

God bless!

1:13 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Too funny!!! What the hell is wrong with a PayPal button?? The only reason I don't have one is I screwed up pasting the code. Of course, I will be offering something for sale not just a bleg. HUGE difference!

7:35 PM  
Blogger Cookie said...

Oh, your poor wife. What'd you have to bribe her with to take these ridiculous shots? :-p

Keep up the hilarious photoshoots, though - I love 'em!

7:44 PM  
Blogger Al said...

Cavey,

1 About the picture of you reading the Baltimore Catechism. Somehow I doubt if you'd have trouble getting it.

Are you sure that isn't a picture of you imitating the average liberal theologian, or certain unnamed Bishops from the USCCB or Canada or England or _________(Fill in the blank with your nominee)?

3:41 AM  

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