Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Random Thoughts On A Christmas Morn'
Is that The Holy Ghost touching my soul, or just the voices in my head?

1. What the hell is "Figgie Pudding", and where can I buy some?

2. When are the Micks, Limeys, Canucks, Ozzies, Kiwis, et al, going to get it right? It's MERRY Christmas... not HAPPY Christmas!! Sheesh, rest of the English speaking world, how about gettin' with the program!!??

3. Gold - $815.60 an ounce. Frankincense - $7.59 an ounce. Myrrh - $15.31 an ounce. Sheesh... two of those cheap skates re-gifted!

4. That phony-baloney Al Gore cares more about Polar Bears than he does Mrs. Claus and those adorable elves falling into the Arctic Sea. You're a mean one, Mr. Gore.

5. Shouldn't it be 'Chipmunks roasting on an open fire'? Seriously... how filling can chestnuts be?

6. Not that this has anything to do with Christmas, but why is Turkey bombing the Turds? That's just been in the news a lot lately, and I'm perplexed. What trouble are Turds to Turks? (Say that three times as fast as you can)

7. I'm not trying to perpetuate a negative ethnic stereotype, or anything... but why is Jose Feliciano proud that his father was arrested? 'Police Nabbed My Dad'? Damn, Jose. Talk about airing the family's dirty laundry in public.

8. I need to stop confusing mistletoe with a TOW missile, I need to stop confusing mistletoe with a TOW missile, I need to stop confusing mistletoe with a TOW missile. I lose more girlfriends that way.

9. I can't wait to hear the Pope's 'Semper Ubi Sub Ubi' speech! I wonder if it's boxers or briefs this year?

10. Regardless of what Father Bringdown says, Christmas IS perfect in spite of the imperfect people associated with it. Christmas will ALWAYS be perfect! You'd think a priest could understand the difference.


Blogger Jeff Miller said...

There is a version of the song "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire"


12:52 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Merry Christmas:)

1:04 PM  
Blogger Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

Figgy pudding is a pudding, perhaps a bread pudding, made with figs. As I have a few extra loaves of bread and whackloads of leftovers, I may well try my hand at that in a couple of days.

Re: Al Gore, you've hit the center of the X-ring!

5: Don't I wish! My fervent desire to avoid all the Christless seasonal music led to this. Listen and enjoy!

10: Fr. Bob isn't writing for the likes of us, VSC, but those who are afflicted with envy and the spirit of Season's Greetings, rather than Christmas. You know, the ones who are listening to all the crap I've managed to excise from my Christmas Pandora station, which I'll be listening to for all twelve Days of Christmas.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Re: Number 10. Is this the same St. Mary's of recent liturgical dance lessons fame? Now they want to form a "academically-oriented Catholic high school"?

The first thought one might have is what the hell kind of high school isn't academically oriented, but then I realized that would be most the public high schools in America (trust me, I teach at a college and see the product of the modern public school system!).

Upon further reflection and recalling the scandals I've already heard about from St.Mary's, how about they start a Catholic-oriented academic high school. I'm not sure most of the graduates of their grade school will pass the entrance exam.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I lose more girlfriends that way?" And what does your wife think about that?

To all the Cavemen--Merry Christmas!

7:09 PM  
Blogger ignorant redneck said...

I kissed a girl underneath a Tow missile once--she stuck around onna counna we were maried.

(camp gates)

10:39 PM  
Blogger Dymphna said...

Police nabbed my dad....Police nabbed my dad....I wanna wish you a merry Christmas...from the bottom of my heart.......

3:14 PM  

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