Thursday, January 11, 2007

Sweet Revenge For Pater Richtsteig
The Catholic alphabet meme

I've been tagged. But this meme has a decidedly Caveman flavor. OK, here goes;

[A is for Ass]: That thing I haven't gotten off yet and responded to Tito's meme yet. Oh, it's also the animal that Jesus rode triumphantly into Jerusalem on.

[B is for Black and Tans]: Not that delicious drink, but those sorrowful bastards who murdered priests and nuns in Ireland.

[C is for Crusades]: Have you just been impaled by a broadsword, or are you just happy to see me?

[D is for Pain of Death]: Should be synonymous with Anathema Sit.

[E is for Excommunicated]: See C is for Crusades

[F is for Flagellation]: Nothing says "I mean it" like whip scars.

[G is for Good Works]: Note to "progressive" minded Catholics - just because you're a registered Democrat, that doesn't automatically qualify you as already performing Good Works.

[H is for Heretic]: Example: the USCCB protects these types.

[I is for Ignatius]: As in St Ignatius of Loyala. As in founder of the Jesuits. As in someone who's big time pissed-off right now.

[J is for Jacobites]: God bless the true King of England.

[K is for Kneeling]: Posture of worship used by unenlightened, rigid, pre-Vatican II rad-trads. And Jesus Christ.

[L is for Laity]: Various members of "ministries". To include; Eucharistic Monsters, Hospitality Whores, Liturgical Terrorists, Turd Burglar Outreach, The Dude In Charge Of Cutting The Grass.

[M is for Memes]: I'll never tag anyone again. I starting to hate these damn things.

[N is for Notre Dame]: As sure as death and taxes, the Notre Dame football program will disappoint.

[O is for Obstinacy in Sin]: A sure fire way to make it into one of many sodomite-friendly American seminaries. Sister Mary Bulldyke will love you.

[P is for Polyphony]: A style of music used by many in the Church that reached it's high water mark in the 17th century. Low point was when The Caveman both burped and farted to On Eagles Wings.

[Q is for Quartered]: Drawn and ____. Also see "Excommunicated".

[R is for Reconciliation]: A much nicer way to say Confession. Confession makes it sound like we've done something wrong. Reconciliation takes the sting out.

[S is for Sanctus Bell]: A small bell rung during various parts of the Mass. Replaced in many progressive parishes by a banjo or bongos or a diggery-do or a fart machine.... or yawns.

[T is for Titular]: Stop giggling.

[U is for The Union of Brest]: Stop giggling.

[V is for Victory]: Hell, we all know that.

[W is for The World]: What many within The Church embrace.

[X is for Xylopolitanus]: Latin for the bishop of Boise City, Idaho. Boise = French bois = Greek xulon. (Father R already took Xaverian Brothers)

[Y is for Yule]: Brenner, that is.

[Z is for Zucchetto]: Those really cool skull caps that certain clerics wear.


Blogger Ginny said...

I can always count on you for a good laugh, and yes I was giggling, I confess, or reconcile, lol

8:20 PM  
Blogger Anita Moore said...

Yaaaaay, V for Victory!

Xylopolitana is a diocese in need of a great many prayers. We have been in liberal clutches for a large number of years. The present chancelloress of our diocese is a nun who thinks she has the right to be a priest; our former bishop is none other than: Tod Brown. Yes, THAT Bishop Tod Brown. And before's a crying shame what they did to our beautiful cathedral pursuant to the "spirit of Vatican II."

8:42 PM  
Blogger Fr. Erik Richtsteig said...

I bow before the wit of the Caveman!

11:09 PM  
Blogger Tracy said...

Oh, Mr. Caveman, you frighten me terribly, but in such a creative and hilarious way. Huzzah! Especially loved this one:

"[C is for Crusades]: Have you just been impaled by a broadsword, or are you just happy to see me?"

Okay, now I'm just going to *have* to draw that one.

4:53 AM  
Blogger prevat2 said...

Thanks Cavey! Once again, early morning coffee shot out my nose, burning every little hair!

Semper Fi

8:34 AM  
Blogger Edmund C. said...

HA! Prevat2, glad I had my morning coffee long before reading this, or else I would have shorted out my laptop.

Caveman, you got a digital camera that shoots video? I want a presentation of that polyphonic rendering of On Eagle's Wings.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Carolina Cannonball said...

[S is for Sanctus Bell]: A small bell rung during various parts of the Mass. Replaced in many progressive parishes by a banjo or bongos or a diggery-do or a fart machine.... or yawns.


2:08 PM  
Blogger Angry Orthodox said...

Speaking of "H" is for Heresy:

9:05 PM  
Blogger Dymphna said...

Okay, you win that was the absolute best....

7:38 PM  
Blogger Petrus Radii said...

Just in case you were wondering, when the last Stuart died, the rightful rule of Great Britain passed to the Wittelsbachs, who were at various times the Dukes and Kings of Bavaria.

The last Herzog von Bayern (that's Duke of Bavaria for the monolingual!) married late and had no sons. His daughter married the present Fürst (i.e., Ruling Prince) von und zu Liechtenstein---that little postage-stamp-sized country sandwiched between Switzerland and Austria. This is a country which one can drive lengthwise in about 25 minutes, containing a huge number of heretical and apostate clergy who need that drawing-and-quartering the Caveman was talking about, and also one more-than-half-Traditionalist Archbishop, Wolfgang Haas. At any rate, assuming that the poor old Duke has passed on to his reward (and I simply don't remember whether he is alive or dead), that makes the Fürst von und zu Liechtenstein the rightful King of the United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales, and (gasp!) Northern Ireland.

Time to dump the northern German, Protestant usurpers!

Any questions?

6:11 PM  

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