Investigations? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Investigations!
Vicente Fox thinks he's callin' the shots in California

Some scumbag smuggler of human beings tried to kill a U.S. Border Patrol Agent. The BP bubbas open fired. Result... scratch one scumbag. Oh, and the added bonus of a U.S. Border Patrol Agent who will be seeing his wife and kids tonight.

But anyhoo... the Mexican government is uber-pissed.

"We asked for an official investigation of what happened," said Alberto Lozano, spokesman for the Mexican Consulate in San Diego. "We want to know why they shot this person."

But far be it from me to stand in the way of huggy-touchy diplomacy. So I'll break it down for this pendejo, Caveman-style.

Hey Alberto, first of all, you have a problem with the obvious, so I'll help out. One of your loco-vato homeboys tried to kill an American citizen who also happened to be a law enforcement agent. The good guys killed the bad guy. It really is quite simple... if this Frito Bandito would have kept his ass south of the border, none of this would have ever happened.

What don't you comprende about this, Alberto?