Thursday, May 22, 2008

UN Sends Hundreds Of Thousands Of Condoms To Myanmar
Helmet tip to Former Altar Boy for passing this info on to me

Here's a snipped of the article from News24.com (South Africa);
220,000 condoms off to Myanmar
Bangkok - The United Nations will send nearly a quarter of a million condoms into cyclone-hit Myanmar to help needy survivors with no access to contraceptives, a UN official says. So far, the UN Population Fund (UNFPA) said it had sent 72,800 condoms to survivors struggling to maintain their family planning after the storm hit in early May. A total of 218,400 condoms would be delivered, UNFPA aid advisor Chaiyos Kunanusont said.

Cyclone Nargis left 2.4 million people in desperate need of food, medicine and shelter, the UN estimated, but Chaiyos said not all of the affected people would need family planning supplies.

Cyclone Nargis left at least 133,000 people dead and missing, and aid groups had complained that supplies were not getting to survivors quickly enough because of limitations imposed by the ruling junta.
Hmmm, just what could 2.4 million starving and homeless people do with a quarter of a million love gloves? Wait... I know!!

VSC's Top Ten Reasons To Send Condoms To Myanmar's Ruling Junta

10 - They make great impromptu beach balls to throw around while waiting in line for inconsequential things, like food, to finally show up. Party on!!

9 - Hire one of those birthday magicians, and he can twist blown up condoms to look like food. You never know, it just might take everyones mind off revolution for a while.

8. In a none too subtle double entendre, the junta could join forces with Bob Barker, have all the condoms inflated, painted brown, then declare it as a UN/Price Is Right monument to everyone having their dachshunds spayed or neutered.

7. A few drops of Essence of Spearmint added to each one, and the Junta could sell them as the newest Willy Wonka candy -- The Everlasting Knob Stopper.

6. Triple bag 'em, and they could be marketed at flesh-toned beer coozies. The extreamly gullible hedonists would completely believe the slogan - All The Drunkenness, None Of The Calories!

5. Fill them with helium, and then use them as makeshift weather balloons. They'd come in handy finding out if anything nasty was on it's way... like a force 5 cyclone.

4. Sell them to really stupid people as deposit envelops for sperm banks.

3. Utilize them as giant baby-bottle nipples for the gallon jugs of soy milk. And what a godsend they would be to the prophylactose intolerant.

2. Sell them on E-Bay and on late night infomercials as The Richard Gere Brand Gerbil Travel Case.

1 - They can develop a time machine, send the condoms back to the moment in time when the daddies of those UN idiots started getting a twitch in their hitch... wrap them rascals, and VIOLA! Pre-emptive artificial means of stupid control.

9 Comments:

Blogger PaulaB52 said...

What idiots the UN are! Let's see, I'm starving, homeless, wondering if my children are going to die from contaminated water...but hey, let's get it on baby! Put on that UN condom!

3:21 PM  
Blogger Kevin - "pax tecum" said...

I'd like to think that these people would have more critical issues to worry about than general bonking and such...

4:01 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Classic! #7 made me laugh out loud!

6:07 PM  
Blogger SonarMan said...

Some bureaucrat at the UN must have gotten a promotion for this sick idea. "Hmmm, what's the one thing nobody else is sending them? I've got it! Hello, Trojans? I'd like to place an order..."

6:29 PM  
Blogger ignorant redneck said...

We are being unfair--we've compleatly overlooked such legitimate uses as waterproof coverings for matches or bananas, and their obvious use as single serving water carriers.

6:57 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Is this a joke? The UN is THAT stupid.

9:23 PM  
Blogger Subvet said...

You just can't make this shit up. Trust the anti-life crowd to be so centered on getting laid. Seems they believe it to be what's on the minds of everyone.

Beam me up Scotty, no intelligent life here.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Al said...

Cavey,

Before I even scrolled down, I thought about sending them to the UN idits parents. So imagine my surprize when that was your #1 idea.

Great Minds Think Alike!!!!!

1:34 AM  
Blogger Alli said...

Ignorant Redneck...
You know they actually told us in school (I was a journalism major) that in case of rain, we should cover the microphone with a condom in order to protect it but still get decent audio.

I was thinking, what self-respecting journalist carries a condom ON THEIR PERSON during an interview?!?

10:50 AM  

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