Friday, November 16, 2007

Ho, Ho, Ho...
Christmas cheer, or the mating call of the Red Velvet Pimp Sparrow?

Just when we thought that political correctness couldn't become even more absurd, we have the following;

Christmas insanity: 'Ho, ho, ho' becomes 'Ha, ha, ha'
Controversy erupts over attempt to gag Santa's greeting

When kids hear Santa Claus bellow, "Ho, ho, ho," is their first thought prostitution? That concern has prompted an attempt to gag the traditional greeting, and many Santas are now fighting back.


According to the Sydney Daily Telegraph, Santas across Australia are rebelling against attempts to change their saying to a more politically correct, "ha, ha, ha."

It all started when the recruitment firm Westaff told its Christmas trainees that the "ho, ho, ho" phrase could frighten children and possibly be derogatory to women.

I for one am appalled. I hereby demand that the Miss America Pageant do away with the title Miss Idaho. I think they should refer to that particular contestant as Miss That State Between Montana and Washington. Sheesh, how dare the pageant organizers purposefully insult the illiterate prostitute demographic.

And when will Disney to do away with that particular song on their Pirates of the Caribbean ride? You know, the song that's street slang for getting the attention of prostitute twins. While I'm at it, for the sake of truth in advertising I hereby demand Ho-Ho's snack cakes be renamed Syphilis and Gonorrhea. And I'm not going to touch "ho-hum" with a 10 foot sexual double-entendre.

But in the same vein of holiday greetings that are insulting to soiled doves, "Trick or Treat" certainly does have connotations of prostitution. Well, the first part of the phrase does... and possibly the last part does as well. But only if you consider an unimaginable burning sensation when you pee that so intense you're amazingly capable of ripping the urinal right off the wall, followed by a rather large (and painful) gamma globulin shot to be a "treat".

In the meantime, I'll just put my hands in the air... like I just don't care. Heyyyyyy - Hoooooo!

Or would that be "Haaaaaaa"?

6 Comments:

Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

Kevin:

Best.Jeopardy.Moment.Ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5H5r4_CoJo

Stephanie

11:22 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

When will this political correctness and pandering to the nut jobs in every minority ever end????

11:27 PM  
Blogger Subvet said...

"But only if you consider an unimaginable burning sensation when you pee so intense you're amazingly capable of ripping the urinal right off the wall, followed by a rather large (and painful) gamma globulin shot to be a "treat"."

Sounds like the voice of experience talking.

12:58 AM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Ha! er...Ho! Let's jes' join 'em--every time somethin' anti-Catholic is said / portrayed, we ought a rise up in righteous PC mode.

Readin' backwards on yore blog, I laughed out loud when I read this:

"resorting to unjust war (I also hope the USCCB understands that bombing the crap outta Canada simply because that particular nation begat Alanis Morissette, both the disco and skank version, would qualify as an unjust war. Killing terrorists and those who support them isn't. "

9:43 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

SV,
All I care to say about that is this -- I know exactly how St Augustine felt in his youth.

9:55 AM  
Blogger deb said...

First of all very young children should not know that the word 'ho' is slang for whore.

But what really makes my head want to explode is the recruitment firm Westaff's conclusion that all women will be insulted by the term 'ho'. Considering that I neither prostitute myself or have sex outside of marriage, the term can not apply to me. And this ban seems to imply that Westaff considers all women to be whores.

6:17 PM  

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