News Story From The Not Too Distant Future?
Could be!
Radical Group Excommunicated From Catholic Church
ROME - CNS (Caveman News Service) On the heels of the recent Regularization between the Vatican and the SSPX as well as the overall trends towards orthodoxy in the Catholic Church, a new group has emerged demanding a "return to Modernism".
Led by radical ex-auxiliary bishop of Detroit, Michigan, Thomas Gumbleton, the group known as the SPPVI (Society of Pope Paul VI) is demanding that only the Mass of Paul VI be allowed and that, in Gumbleton's words "all this overt Catholicism must end. Radical Ecumenism, Universal Salvation and Modernism must be at the forefront of any and all endeavors that the Church should embark upon."
Pope Benedict XVI has recently excommunicated the SPPVI for "ordaining" women, many of them lesbians, as well as homosexual men. The last straw was when Gumbleton presided at the wedding of Rembert Weakland, the former Archbishop of Milwaukee. Weakland "married" his longtime companion, who's name cannot be released due to a court order. But the pair reportedly will live off of the $450,000 that Weakland gave to his companion while he was still the embattled Archbishop of Milwaukee.
According to the spokesman for the pope, Joaquin Navarro-Walls "our brief flirtation with Protestantism has ended. It obviously was a disaster. Praise be to God that we came to our senses before things got too carried away". Navarro-Walls went on to say, " There is a word for those who believe as the Gumble-istas. They're called Protestants"
Logo for the SSPX
Could be!
Radical Group Excommunicated From Catholic Church
ROME - CNS (Caveman News Service) On the heels of the recent Regularization between the Vatican and the SSPX as well as the overall trends towards orthodoxy in the Catholic Church, a new group has emerged demanding a "return to Modernism".
Led by radical ex-auxiliary bishop of Detroit, Michigan, Thomas Gumbleton, the group known as the SPPVI (Society of Pope Paul VI) is demanding that only the Mass of Paul VI be allowed and that, in Gumbleton's words "all this overt Catholicism must end. Radical Ecumenism, Universal Salvation and Modernism must be at the forefront of any and all endeavors that the Church should embark upon."
Pope Benedict XVI has recently excommunicated the SPPVI for "ordaining" women, many of them lesbians, as well as homosexual men. The last straw was when Gumbleton presided at the wedding of Rembert Weakland, the former Archbishop of Milwaukee. Weakland "married" his longtime companion, who's name cannot be released due to a court order. But the pair reportedly will live off of the $450,000 that Weakland gave to his companion while he was still the embattled Archbishop of Milwaukee.
According to the spokesman for the pope, Joaquin Navarro-Walls "our brief flirtation with Protestantism has ended. It obviously was a disaster. Praise be to God that we came to our senses before things got too carried away". Navarro-Walls went on to say, " There is a word for those who believe as the Gumble-istas. They're called Protestants"
Logo for the SSPX
Logo for the SPPVI
posted by Kevin Whiteman at
5:01 PM
8 Comments:
Hilarious!
Sorry, Caveman, Gumbleton would have less to do with Paul VI than with Pius X, and I'll tell you why: Humanae Vitae.
Vatican II wasn't the problem, it was the growing protestantism in the Church pews that gave us Guitar Masses, Bongos, and John Kerry. Those people, who championed heresy by "Spirit of V2", grew up with the Latin Mass, and yet found it hollow and meaningless. If the 1962 Latin Mass, in a language that most only heard for an hour per week, was so perfect and inspirational, why was there a stampede to make a mass almost polarly opposite?
You can't blame the disobedience of the sheep on the shepherd, only hope in that the Church can recover those that are willing to repent and follow. Both Henry VII and Luther blamed the Pope..
Sorty Jimbob,
If Pope Pual woulod have squashed this nonsense while he had the chance, we would have never even heard the phrase "Spirit of Vatican II", nor would we have ever seen the likes of "Bongo Masses", etc.
Bottom line; Paul fiddled while Rome burned
Yeah, it would be nice to see proactive discipline coming from Rome, but I don't know if it's really been consistantly effective.
Back in the Early Church, Bishops and popes used to hurl anathemas and decrees with righteous abandon, but I recall that few heresiarchs really came to heel when hit with an anathema. Photius is one of many who, when faced with papal discipline, hardened his error and led many away. Arius, Nestor, and Pelagius, cascading down to Henry VII, Luther, and LeFebvre. They all rejected the disciplinary actions of the Pope.
Sure, I'd love to see a few, if not many, american catholic prelates censured, excommunicated, or outright defrocked for what they teach, and omit, of Catholic doctrine.
I just have to pray, and trust that the Holy Spirit will prevail upon all willing Catholics, myself included, to faithfully adhere to the entire teaching and Magisterium of the Church.
Satire, unlike revenge, is a dish best served cold. This is a chilly one.
I have to agree with both of you, though, in thinking that a lack of discipline from the top might have gone a long way to preventing what's gone wrong these past few decades, and also in questioning whether such an attempt from Paul VI would have been efficacious.
Both Jimbob and Paul,
Excellent points, gents. Just a couple of points to ponder;
Jimbob, I ask of you to please not lump Archbishop Lefevbre in with Arius, Nestor, and Pelagius, Henry VIII, Luther, etc. They were all heretics. Archbishop Lefevbre is in the process of being vindicated. Big difference.
Paul, you asked if such an attempt by Pope Paul would have been efficacious... I say absolutely! All we need is a pope that has the guts to back up what he says (Thank God for Pope Benedict XVI).
The parable of the wheat/tares has something to tell us about all this. (Last Sunday's Gospel in the Old Rite.)
It is clear that Christ expected some tares everywhere, even in the upper reaches of the Church. He did not agree with those who suggested that the tares be uprooted after germination. Rather, He said '..let them grow..and be thrown into the fire.'
One can conclude that the treatment of the "tares" is a pastoral-practice problem best left with the Pope.
Personally, I woulda hauled out an M-60 with several boxes of belts handy....and lots of spare barrels.
Nice to know I'm not eligible for Papification, eh?
Nice to know I'm not eligible for Papification, eh?
Ahhhh... but you ARE! Catholic and male are the only requirements.
Hmmm, Pope Dad29? In Italian, that would make you "Papa Papa XXIX"
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