Saturday, February 18, 2006

Moslem Athletes Prepare For 2008 Olympics
On your mark... get set... BLOW!
or for our British friends
Ready... steady... BLOW!

(CNS Caveman News Service) - Spanning the moslem world from Morocco to Indonesia... from Stockholm to Toronto, moslem athletes are preparing for the upcoming 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics.

There has been just one minor snag. According to Sheik Yerbootie, the Sports Departmental Chairman of the Brotherhood Of Outraged Moslems, "we were informed by the IOC that they have authorized Islamo-Centric sports, such as Car Bombing; Flying Airplanes Into Buildings; Sending Someone Other Than Yourself Wearing A Bomb Belt Into A Crowded Marketplace And Blowing Themselves Up... you know, things we're good at. We really were looking forward to bringing home the gold in many of these events"

But the Sheik lamented "just when we taught the basics of these various sports to our athletes, they would end up being... umm... well... dead. We are simply beside ourselves trying to figure this one out."

A philosophical Yerbootie went on with "oh well, we've already petitioned the IOC to allow in Shooting Little Kids In The Back and Carving Peoples Heads Off as official events for the 2012 Games. And if they know what's good for them, the IOC had BETTER allow them!"


Blogger Jeff Miller said...

Some other sports might be.

"Blowing up children receiving candy from soldiers"
"Setting cars afire and running away"

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Scarlette said...

They have to have some kind rock-throwing event too. But, of course, the Palestinian team would probably win the gold every year, because they train from the time they are 3 years old. It's really cute.

Effigy-Burning while the old ladies make that annoying tongue rolling type of sound that makes you wanna reach out and bitch slap them. I can't even think of an animal that makes that kind of disgusting sound.
I'll leave it up to someone else to work out the details of this event.

Am I "marked" now? Damn.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey gang, is this Scarlette a Marine? She definitely belonsg in the Caveman's Ladies Auxiliary. I was laughing out loud!

1:30 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

I don't know if she was ever a Marine, but I sure wish she would start her own blog! A wit like her's needs to be shared!

Scarlette, if you ever do open your own blog, it would definatly be one of those "every day" visits!

8:35 AM  
Blogger Dad29 said...

You've described events which properly belong in the SUMMER Olympics.

Maybe Mahomet can figure out a solution to his problem before they begin.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Exactly Dad. That's why I wrote "the upcoming 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics".

6:20 AM  

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