Forget About Haugen-Haas. Here's The Ultimate Novus Ordo Hymn
What hath Toby Keith wrought?

This will only make sense if you're familiar with Toby Keith's "I Wanna Talk About Me". If you're unfamiliar with this song, listen to it first. It's hilarious!

Play the video, and sing along to the new lyrics!


I Want The Focus On Me
We talk about Good Works, how Judas was a jerk
We talk about Your Church and sin when it hurts
We talk about the troubles You've been having with Mahony
'Bout his cronies and fel-onies and they're all so freakin' phony

We talk about The Cross, how Yo' Daddy is The Boss
We talk about Hell, and all the convents up for sale
The scourging You received, and that satan will deceive
And God knows, how the USCCB blows
You know worshipin' You should make me kneel
But I jump up and squeal

I want the focus on me
Want the focus on I
Want the focus on number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like worshippin' You You You You, usually, but occasionally...
I want the focus on meeeeee (background singers - me, me, me, me )
I want the focus on me (background singers - me, me, me, me)

We talk about bishops who think they are Il Duce
But they're really just the Libs lil' attack poochies
We talk about people who through Mass just love to cackle
As they sit there with their backs to the Tabernacle
We talks about the bells, we talk about the smells
We talk about discord because the Pope is ignored
Love Your Sacred Heart, on a candle from Wal-Mart
And those crazy-assed nuns, and pilfered funds
You know worshippin' You makes me grin
But every now and then...

I want the focus on me
Want the focus on I
Want the focus on number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what
I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like worshippin' You You You You, usually, but occasionally
I want the focus on me me (background singers - me, me, me, me)
I want the focus on me meeeeeeee (background singers - me, me, me, me)
(I want the focus on me me- background singers) mmmm me me me me
(I want the focus on me- background singers) mmmm me me me me
You You You You You You You You You You You You You

I want the focus on ME!

I want the focus on me
Want the focus on I
Want the focus on number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like worshippin' You, You, You, You, usually, but occasionally
I want the focus on meeeeeeee (background singers - me, me, me, me)
I want the focus on me (background singers - me, me, me, me)
I want the focus on me (background singers - me, me, me, me)
Oh me!