It's 3 AM... The Phone Rings... Who Serving The Tea?
Hillary picks a winner!

All this noise about The Hilldabeast having "eight years of White House experience" is pretty much the same thing I recently scraped off the bottom of my shoe.

Here are a few examples of Hillary's vast experience of her time at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue;

'CRISIS' HILL DID TEA SERVICE
FIRST LADY'S FOREIGN TRIPS ALL POMP
By GEOFF EARLE and CHARLES HURT. Post Correspondents
March 20, 2008 --
WASHINGTON - Hillary Rodham Clinton boasts on the campaign trail of having had a key foreign-policy role when she was first lady - but newly released records of her travel abroad paint a picture that looks more like an extended vacation of get-togethers and tea parties.

For example, records of Clinton's official June 1994 trip to Rome, where she accompanied her president-husband, reveal she wasn't negotiating any arms-control treaties - but did participate in an art history lesson with 15 third-graders, and got to tour the Forum.

On one afternoon, Hillary, who claims to have the experience to best handle a crisis, held an "informal mix-and-mingle with approximately 30 women." At the same time, a bold notation on her White House schedule reads: "Note: [president] is having bilateral with [Prime Minister Silvio] Berlusconi."

Other trips, to Moscow, Paris and Israel, fit a similar pattern - with Hillary filling a largely ceremonial role, soaking up local culture and tasting fine cuisine, while touring hospitals and engaging in goodwill gestures.

On a January 1994 visit to Moscow, she hit the town with the wife of President Boris Yeltsin, visiting a birthing class and touring the Cathedral of the Assumption. She then lunched with prominent women, dining on blini with caviar and mutton.

In France, after attending ceremonies for the 50th anniversary of D-Day, Clinton flew to Paris, where she toured the Opera House and the Rodin Museum.

In a December 1998 excursion to Israel, President Clinton met with top leaders about the peace process, but the first lady was repeatedly left out, getting serenaded by children and holding separate meetings with leaders' wives.

While her husband attended the G-8 summit in 1999, Hillary flew to Morocco, where her schedule from 12:10 to 12:15 p.m. at the airport's Royal Terminal provided for a "very brief cup of tea before departing."

On March 24, when US cruise missiles slammed into Serbia, Hillary toured ancient Luxor in Egypt.

When Bill Clinton announced attacks on al Qaeda training camps in Afghanistan on Aug. 20, 1998, Hillary was on vacation in Martha's Vineyard.

Hillary's overseas expeditions were entirely legitimate and in keeping with the traditional ceremonial role of first lady. But on the campaign trail, she portrays a much more substantive role, stressing her efforts to bring peace to Northern Ireland, a visit to Bosnia, and championing women's rights in China.

The treasure trove of 11,000 pages of information about Clinton's daily routine as first lady has been meticulously archived by the feds, and was released yesterday. Of nine randomly selected weeks by The Post, Clinton had a total 73 total meetings - only six of which were with foreign leaders or representatives.

Two of those were with Queen Noor of Jordan, one was with the first lady of Liberia, and two were briefings with US officials.

The new records also offered a trip down memory lane of President Clinton's peccadilloes with Monica Lewinsky. On the night when Bill stained Lewinsky's infamous blue dress in the Oval Office bathroom, Hillary stayed in the White House.

On the December day in 1998 when the House took up articles of impeachment against her husband, Hillary attended "The Nutcracker" ballet. (no pun intended... this just worked out that way)

As that debate raged on, she attended a "Secret Santa Party" in the White House Map Room.It's three AM... the phone rings... a few short words spoken... crisis averted.

We'll be serving Chamomile.