The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

"I Love To Tell The Story"
... and other musical abominations

H/T to Brendan the Raleigh Refugee

It was pointed out to me today some of the insipid drivel that's suppose to pass itself off as "Catholic hymns" nowadays. "Muzak" is a more descriptive word. Do Protestants even sing this crap?

"I Love To Tell The Story" - Also known as "Ode to Frankie Pentangeli". Too bad Bernie Law didn't exactly dig this jam.

"Taste and See" - At first, this was going to titled this "Pick and Choose", but the powers to be changed their minds at the last minute. I think it's still the unofficial anthem for the USCCB (US Cafeteria Catholics Bureau)

"Lover of us all" - Shouldn't this me a Mormon song? I hear it's #1 on the Polygamy Top 40.

"City of God" - Has anyone else noticed that you can sing "On Top of Spaghetti, All Covered with Cheese" to the verses of this Sesame Street inspired toe tapper?

"Here I Am, Lord" - Just in case The Almighty lost you.

"One Bread, One Body" - Is it sinful for me to sing "One Bed, Two Bodies"?

"Gather Us In (to the cookout)"

Gather us in, the beef and the chicken.
Gather us in, the pork and the lamb.
Make us to be a barbecued banquet,
Washed down with beer from a keg or a can.

Now I know how Jim Carry felt when he asked the musical question; "is it asking too much just for a little Foghat?". Sheesh.... is it asking too much for just a little 'Come Holy Ghost' or 'Immaculate Mary'?

Thanks to the Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, or SMMMHDH for short.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 1:40 PM

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget "Bread for the World," which I suspect started out as "Red for the World" but when the whole Cold War thing ended, well...

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do not badmouth the Wiggles. They're actually, really Catholic. They sponsor the Austrailian national St. Vincent de Paul drive, on their Christmas album they sign "Away In a Manger" with all that trad loving-Lord-Jesus talk, and have Down's Syndrome children in their videos as a living testimony not to vaccumn them after the amnio comes back. But most the important difference between the Wiggles and Haugen, Haas et. al. is the Wiggles treat their audience like children because they actually are children.

9:48 PM  
Blogger Kevin Whiteman said...

St. Joe's Dog,
I bow to your request. Change made.

Deepest apologies. If only I had known!

4:10 PM  

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