When Government Becomes The Comic Opera
I can't make this stuff up...

This one rates right up there with Australian Santas banned from saying "Ho, Ho, Ho!" due to the possible slight that hoes, hoes, and even a few more hoes might take offense to being rightly referred to as hoes... and the dinks in the government in the North of Ireland who banned the phrase brain storming in favor of thought showers as so not to possibly alienate the brain stormed/brain damaged who dwell amongst us.

Well, sports fans... the grand prize for the Nanny-State advocating, politically correct pencil-necked geek of the decade goes to the dweebs at Britain's Health and Safety Executive (HSE). Which I guess could also stand for Hissies, Sissies and Eunuchies.

From the Beeb; (comments mine)

Pantomime gun must be registered
A Cornish village drama group has had to register a toy gun with the police to comply with health and safety rules.

Carnon Downs drama group in Cornwall have also had to keep their plastic cutlasses and wooden swords locked up for the pantomime, Robinson Crusoe. Producers of the show called the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) rules "farcical". A spokesman for the HSE said the rules were designed to make risks "sensibly managed".

The climax of the show is a fight in which actors use replica 4ft-foot long plastic cutlasses. There is also a toy gun which produces a flag saying "Bang". The directors contacted police after receiving advice from the HSE and the National Operatic and Dramatic Association. (It's all fun and games until someone produces a formerly secreted toy gun which produces a flag saying "Bang". That's when all toy hell breaks loose.)

The HSE have a page on their website called Entertainment Information Sheet 20 which lays down strict rules for the handling of guns, swords and other weapons on set. Drama group co-director Linda Barker said: "The cutlasses count as weapons even though they are replicas and made of plastic and apparently they could be mistaken for real ones. (Much like her husbands testicles, which she undoubtedly carries around in her purse.)

"Our only gun was a panto pistol which produces a flag with the word bang on it. "Our local police at Truro were fantastic and they have registered the gun, the two plastic cutlasses and our six wooden swords." (Translation - The Liberal wet dream of what the once vaunted British Armed Forces will have their armories reduced to.)

She added: "It gets a bit farcical when you are dealing with plastic swords. It is not as if anyone is likely to be scared by them." (Translation - The Liberal wet dream of what the once vaunted British Armed Forces will be reduced to. NOTE: Most of Europe's Armed Forces already fall into this category. See: Italy and Spain.)

Neighbourhood beat officer Pc Nigel Hyde said: "We have been informed and made a note. "It seems a bit unusual but other forms of replica weapons have been used to carry out crimes and the consequences have been serious." (Yet another reason why guns should be outlawed to the law abiding citizenry in Great Britian. Introduce the "replica" thieves to real bullets. I'll bet they won't rob anyone ever again.)

A spokesman for the HSE said: "We do not want to stop people putting on pantos or having fun as long as the risks are sensible managed." (Risks? Interesting... common sense and personal accountability are now classified as risks).Sheesh... hey British, is there anything the government DOESN'T tell you to do? But I shouldn't be too critical. America isn't that far behind.