Whatever Happened To....
And other short-lived events

1. Paris Hilton's vow to both return to Catholicism and help the poor? (It never materialized... she never did.)

2. The impending Ice-Age we were all warned about back in the 80's and 90's? (Speaking of, where the hell's the "global warming"? It's currently snowing across the border in South Carolina.)

3. David Beckham's talent since moving to L.A.? (And no, acquiring splinters on your ass doesn't qualify as "talent". But I guess screwing the owners of the LA Galaxy out of a quarter of a billion dollars does)

4. Ellen DeGeneres sobbing alligator tears so Iggy the Dog could be returned to his owners? (He never was. But hey, Iggy was last years ratings bump.)

5. Cardinal Mahony's Catholicism? (Been to L.A. lately? Mahony's the Catholic equivalent to David Beckham.)

6. The Democrat Congressional majority vowing "the most honest, ethical and open Congress in history.” (According to Gallup, that just 14 % of Americans have confidence in this Democrat-led Congress, an all-time low.)

7. Hillary Clinton's new found humanity? (I guess tears are reserved for the night before an important primary election, huh?)

8. Britney Spears skivvie drawers? (Along with her watch, calender, court date summons', common sense, mothering skills, sobriety, etc.)

9. George Bush's promise to protect our borders? (No George, the millions wading across the Rio Grande aren't the starters for the Mexican National Marco Polo Team.)

10. Michael Jackson's race? (What the hell IS HE? And no... "Negro-Lite" doesn't qualify as an ethnicity.)

*11. What about Alec Baldwin's and Barbra Streisand's vow to move out of the country if Geroge Bush was elected president? (The Cavemen are still willing to pack your bags!)

* Wisdom from Former Altar Boy