Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Motuphobia
The latest disease to mutate from "The Spirit of Vatican II"

I've checked out a couple of blogs the past few days that are pretty much against the Motu Proprio ever seeing the light of day. I wonder why these "conservative Novus Ordo" sites are suffering from Motuphobia so badly?

I think I know the reason why.... I remember reading a year or so back, someone (to whom I'm indebted for pointing this out) that these self-ordained defenders of the Mass of Paul VI look upon themselves as being the Lord High Protectors of Novus Ordo Orthodoxy. A contradiction in terms if their ever was one.

But let them enjoy their Calvinistic wet-dreams and Luthergasms. This rather brief flirtation with Protestantism will eventually fade away and die a wimpering death.

Anyhow, back to the question at hand... when the Motu Proprio frees the Traditional Latin Mass, it'll be Traditional Orders such as the FSSP, ICSK and eventually the SSPX, who'll be on the forefront of defending orthodox Catholic teachings. The Scott Hahn crowd will find themselves lost in the crowd. And that scares 'em to death.

You know, I think that they no only suffer from Motuphobia, they're also HIV Positive;

Has been Infected by Vatican II, Positively.
His Beatitude Nasrallah Pierre Cardinal Sfeir, Maronite Patriarch Of Antioch And All The East
FINALLY... A Catholic leader who stands up to the moslems


Cardinal Sfeir has referred to the 33 Lebanese (Maronite Catholic) soldiers who were killed in the recent clashes with moslem fanatics as "martyrs". Now that wasn't very ecumenical, was it?

Another group that claims alliance to Al-Qaeda has threatened the life of Cardinal Sfeir and has also threatened Lebanon with a "bloodbath" if the Christian armies don't cease attacks on Islamofacist strongholds. "Christian armies"... sounds good, doesn't it?

Anyhow, the Maronites know who the enemy is. Too bad the Cut & Run cowards here in The West fail to see the obvious.

But then again, we have gutless "Catholic leaders" here in America who are afraid to even say "... through Jesus Christ, our Lord, amen" or publicly doing the Sign of The Cross for fear of insulting non-Christians (ie: moslems).

But let's not forget, sportsfans... the War on Islamofacist Terrorism is evil and sinful. Yeah, right. Tell that to the Maronite Catholics of Lebanon.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The IHTC Fairy Was Busy This Past Pentecost Sunday
Evil fairy dust spill on the interstate... film at 11

CHICAGO, May 24, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) - The Rainbow Sash Movement (RSM), the group of homosexual activists that self-describes itself as “Catholic” despite its open stance against significant moral teachings of the Church, announced today that they will again be “challenging the Catholic Church's hierarchy” this upcoming Pentecost Sunday, May 27.

In a disturbingly related story;

CHICAGO, May 28, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) – DePaul University in Chicago, one of the largest and most important Catholic universities in the US is hosting the second “Out There” conference on homosexuality and Catholic education.

The conference, whose full title is the Conference of Scholars and Student Affairs Personnel Involved in “LGBTQ” (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer) issues on Catholic Campuses, is being organized through the DePaul Women’s and Gender Studies department. It is scheduled for October 19-20, 2007 and is calling for submissions for papers and workshops.

The first Out There conference was held at Jesuit-run Santa Clara University in 2005 in California and attracted 150 students and faculty from 40 different schools, including the Universities of Georgetown, Loyola Marymount, Gonzaga, Fordham, DePaul, La Salle, Marquette and Emory, as well as Boston College, and College of the Holy Cross. The Santa Clara conference was praised by gay activists as opening a new door between the homosexual activist community and the world of Catholic education.

Defending the decision to hold the 2005 conference, Santa Clara University told Catholic News Agency that hosting a two-day long conference “on how to promote opportunities for gays and lesbians at Catholic colleges is the Catholic way to act.” The 2005 conference chose not to highlight Catholic teaching on the intrinsic immorality or medical dangers of homosexual activity or offer assistance to homosexuals to leave their lifestyle.

It hasn't been indicated from DePaul University if they too will "choose not to highlight Catholic teaching" as Santa Clara did, but keep in mind the following;

DePaul includes a minor undergraduate programme in “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer (LGBTQ) studies.” Course work includes courses in “Sexual Justice: Lesbians, Gays and the Law,” and “Creating Change: GLBT Politics”.

And Archbishop Lefevbre was "excommunicated" for what again?

A Woman's Hair Is Her Glory
Reasons for Veils in Church

Awhile back, one of my posts about the traditional Latin Mass brought this response from a female Cave visitor who was in favor of dumping the Sign of Peace and contemporary “band” music, but didn’t care for another accessory common at the Latin Mass:

“I’m a girl – please don’t subject me to putting the old lace handkerchief on my head.”

Her honest plea is one likely shared by many women who have grown up since Vatican II. It also speaks of a misunderstanding of the veil at Mass. Needless to say, most men today are equally ignorant of the reasons for women’s head coverings at Mass.

As one who attends a traditional Latin Mass each Sunday, as I did before we entered the “springtime” desert 40 years ago, I can attest that not all women wear a hat or veil to Mass. Never did. (Although I’ll admit it would raise a few eyebrows in the “old days.”)


Jackie Freppon is writing a book called "The Unveiled Woman" that beautifully
explains the historical, religious, and spiritual reasons for women’s head being covered during worship. For example:

“Sacred Scripture presents several reasons for wearing the veil. St. Paul tells us in his first letter to the Corinthians (11:1-16) that we must cover our heads because it is a Sacred Tradition commanded by our Lord Himself and entrusted to Paul: "The things I am writing to you are the Lord’s commandments" (1 Cor. 14:37).”

This link will take you to a short synopsis of the entire subject. Pictured above are the chapel
veil and mantilla styles as well as a photo of the last Catholic First Lady leaving Mass properly attired.

Monday, May 28, 2007

On This Memorial Day
*Are both of these men going to hell?

Some of the evil fairy dust that The Cavemen won't allow to be spread around the Lair is the soft-headed insistence that the war in Iraq is "evil and sinful" according to Catholic teaching.

Yeah, yeah... we all know Pope Benedict's personal opinion on the war. And Bl. Pope Pius XII never publicly supported the Allied side during WWII, either. But back to the question at hand.

For the sake of discussion... let's say that the Appeasement At Any Cost crowd is right. What IF the war is evil and sinful? If that's the case, then the hundreds of thousands of Catholics who're serving right now are in a state of mortal sin. And that goes for the hundreds of Catholic Chaplains as well. And that also applies to the Archbishop of the Military Services, USA, His Excellency Archbishop Edwin O’Brien. Are they ALL going to hell?

If the above is true, then The Holy Father himself must be going to hell for allowing all these hundreds of thousands of Yank, Brit, Aussie and Canuck Catholics to actively participate in this evil and sinful war... right? After all, The Holy Father would be guilty of the Sin of Omission for doing nothing to these hundreds of thousands of "sinners".

And the Cut & Run bunch can't claimed that anyone is forced to go fight this war. After all, everyone's a volunteer. And seeing that this is the most educated military in the history of the United States, no one can claimed they were duped into joining. All these Catholic boys simply MUST be evil and sinful if we are to believe the vomitous filth that spews forth from the vile Defeatocrats.

And don't believe the appeaseristas when they say "we are against the war, but support the troops". They're trying to have it both ways. Or as we use to say in my Beloved Corps, they're talkin' outta their mouth and ass at the same time.

*U.S. Navy Lieutenant Kenneth Nielson, a Catholic chaplain with the 1st Force Service Support Group (one of my old units) as he gives Last Rites to a Marine in Iraq who was shot across the face. I'd hate to think that the good Father and the shot-up Marine are hell bound. What do you think?

Non-hacking, never served a single day (and more importantly, refuse to ever serve) Evil Fairies need not respond. After all; hell hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Blow-Out Memorial Day Sale!!
Everything must go!

Here at Crazy Nancy's House of Appeasement, we're having our Memorial Day Super Blow-Out Sale!! We're slashing prices like they're the defense budget! Much like our troops, we're plunging a dagger into the back of high prices!!

Savings... Savings... SAVINGS!!!

Our warehouse is busting at the seams. Our buyers mistook our corporate budget for the national budget! Our mistake is YOUR gain!!

Check out some of our buy-out bargains ---




~ Harry Reid brand bedding!





~ Bill Clinton's testicles! (Now available at your local Hillary's Emasculatorium)

~ Our alleged Catholicism!

~ Moral absolutes!

~ Rosie O'Donnell's immortal soul! How else can you explain her stardom?!

~ Slightly used Abortuary supplies!



~ The John Kerry Footwear Collection. They go GREAT with waffles!




~ Ted Kennedy industrial sized swim trunks. They work great as infield tarps during rain delays!

~ Again from the Kennedy Line; Ted's missing eight hours from July 18th, 1969!




Just like a Frenchman from a confrontation (or soap and water), run... don't walk, to your nearest Crazy Nancy's House of Appeasement!

Disclaimer: Crazy Nancy's House of Appeasement is in no way affiliated with the US House of Representatives. But we haven't given up hope yet.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

The *IHTC Fairy Alert System Has Been Activated
*I Hate The Cavemen

WARNING!! Harsh language alert!

Every so often, the Ittic Fairy flitters in here and covers the cave floor with his evil fairy dust and in general makes an overall boorish oaf of himself.

And by evil fairy dust, I mean his tolerance and acceptance of sinful and evil ways, such as advocating abortion and the pro-homosexual "lifestyle", etc. And by boorish oaf, I mean a jackass. Just like the one on the seal of the Democratic Party.

So I've decided to follow the lead of The Cave-Dwellers Ladies Auxiliary, better known as Anita and Paramedic Girl. So from here on out, I've decided to initiate some ground rules for posting in the ComBox...

Speluncae Codex

1. I'm the Pontifex Maximus of this blog. What I say goes. If you don't like that, tough shit.

2. Those listed on the left under the heading of "Fellow Bloglodytes" are considered family. All others are guests. Conduct yourself accordingly. If you do and don't espouse heresy, we'll all get along swimmingly... and you'll more than likely get added to the ever expanding blog roll.

3. If there's still any confusion on your part, refer to Rules 1 and 2.

4. If you still want to butt heads with me, but still imagine that there's some wiggle room for you, especially in light that you've read Rules 1 - 3, you're either obstinate in sin or irreversibly stupid. Either way, you are anathema. Consider yourself excavemunicated.

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Great "You Grew Up In The 70's" Checklist...
Bring back any memories?

~ Everyone owned Frampton Comes Alive and Cheap Trick Live at Budokan.

~ Your high school had a smokers section.

~ You remember when relief pitchers didn't run on to the field... they rode out in a golf cart.

~ The Ocean Pacific brand constituted most of your clothing.

~ Not only do you know what "three on the tree" means, your first vehicle was a POS that really had a three on the tree tranny.

~ The Datsun 240-Z was considered the "rich kid" car.

~ White tube socks with the three colored stripes at the top.

~ Ash trays in public restrooms.

~ Place kickers kicked the ball straight on. None of that namby-pamby "soccer style" off to the left, stuff. Where have you gone, George Blanda?

~ Rabbit ears. And you only got three channels. Five on a good day.

~ Major League Baseball had the ugliest uniforms.... ever.

~ "Disco Sucks" bumper stickers.

~ 57 cent a gallon gasoline.

~ You weren't sure if that new running shoe was pronounced "uh-dee-duz" or "ahh-dee-daahz".

~ Rock bands recorded 16 minute drum solos.

~ Those new fangled battery powered calculators that cost well over $100.00

~ Frank Frazetta paintings on vans, most done poorly.

~ Good girls had the Dorothy Hamill hairstyle... easy chicks had the Farrah Fawcett 'do.

~ The cops would allow "the least drunk" guy to drive everyone home.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Miracles Still Happen
The Vatican is still investigating... but I believe

Only three have ever walked on water;

1. Christ Himself

2. St. Peter the Apostle

3. St. Jose Corredor del Agua of Tijuana


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Absurd Headline Of The Year
Only the USCCB could expect people to take this seriously

From the USCCB official news organ, The Catholic News Service;

Many Young People Find Their College Years Strengthen Their Faith
WASHINGTON (CNS) -- When college students graduate, it doesn't necessarily mean they leave with a spiritual void, despite the widespread notion that young people take a hiatus from their religious upbringing during their college years.

Some students find their faith unscathed by the college experience and others even find it significantly strengthened. Ryan Hehman, a 2006 graduate of The Catholic University of America in Washington, falls into the second category.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera... blah, blah, blah... wonk, wonk, wonk. C'mon, USCCB. Stop trying to BS us on how peachy keen everything is. Thanks to outright heretics being assigned to universities as Catholic chaplains (or Theology professors or University Presidents... you name it), the exodus of young Catholics from the Faith is unprecedented. Everyone knows it.

The attitude of the USCCB towards how Catholic kids and their Faith (or lack thereof, especially at so-called Catholic schools), dovetails nicely with what the late Anna Haycraft said about post-Vatican II ecumania;

Ecumenism seems to mean taking something pure and strong, mixing it up with something weak and polluted, slashing it about, watching the churches empty and then congratulating yourself on your progress.

Sure USCCB... keep telling us how wonderful the emperors new clothes are.
I've Heard That Somewhere Else, I Do Believe
Everything old is new again

The infamous Tokyo Rose broadcast to our troops the following messages;

1. Your President is lying to you.
2. This war is illegal.
3. You cannot win the war.

She also claimed to support our troops before she demoralized them.

Does any of this sound familiar? It should. After all, Tokyo Hillary, Tokyo Harry, Tokyo Barack, Tokyo John, Tokyo Teddy, and Tokyo Nancy, have all picked up the same message and are broadcasting it on Tokyo CNN, Tokyo ABC, Tokyo CBS, and Tokyo NBC on a daily basis.

Think about this before you vote.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This May Work In Romania...
But it won't work anywhere else

From the Sydney Morning Herald;

BUCHAREST: Jobless Romanians are to be given goats instead of welfare benefits as part of a scheme to make them contribute more to the economy.

Under the pilot project, welfare benefits are to be axed from September in the Independenta district, a collection of villages in south-eastern Romania, where unemployed families will instead each receive 10 goats.

They will be expected to sell milk and cheese to earn an income, and when they find work, they will have to return the goats to the council.

Now this just may work fine and dandy in Romania, but what might this program look like in other nations? Hmmmm....

Great Britain ~ In an effort to make her at least a little easier on the eyes, the Brits will try to clone the goats with Princess Anne.

Mexico ~ The fleet-of-foot goats will end up sneaking into America, thus ensuring that tax-paying, hard working American goats are out of work. The slow goats will end up as taco meat.

France ~ The French will figure out a reason for surrendering and eventually collaborating with the invading goats.

Your Run Of The Mill Dung-Heap "Islamic Republic" ~ What!!?? Free goats? HOT GOAT LOVE TONIGHT, BABY!!

Canada ~ Despite the burning Canadian impulse to grant them refugee status without even so much as a cursory background check, the goats will be turned back at the border. Unfortunantly, the goats only speaks Goat. English and French are mandatory. Les chèvres parle seulement la Chèvre. Les Anglais et les Français sont obligatoires.

Sweden ~ Goats can't make crappy IKEA furniture.

Croatia ~ "Goat" looks too much like "Croat". I mean the word, not the people. Well, on second thought...

United States of America ~ The Americans will out-source the goats to;
a. Bangladesh, where the Bangladeshiacs (or whatever the hell they're called) will promptly eat them.
b. India, where the Indians will promptly worship them.
c. North Korea, where the North Koreans will promptly execute them for being Yankee spies... then eat them... but definitely not worship them. Unless one of them looks a helluva lot like Kim Jong Il. (see Great Britain)

Monday, May 21, 2007

A Blast From The Past
Originally posted in January, 2006

My Brit-Bud, Mac McLernon, asked my of my opinion concerning the freakish human-animal hybrids that they're toying with in England. I looked waaaaaaay back in The Cave and found that I've already posted on the subject.

This is for you, Mac.

__________________________________________________________


Things We Shouldn't Be Meddling With
You never know what you'll end up with

Looks as if some clone-meister in England is fixin' to clone a human-rabbit hybrid. Seriously... I'm not that smart enough to make this stuff up.

I for one, say leave this stuff alone!

If you clone THIS



With THIS


It'll be born like THIS


And will grow up to look like THIS


And do ANY of us what that?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

180 Degree Turn
I don't know if I should laugh or cry

On July 6, 1535, St. Thomas More was beheaded for treason by the government of Henry VIII. Treason was the official reason. In all reality, it was due to St. Thomas remaining faithful to The Holy Catholic Church. Referring to himself, the final words of St. Thomas were: "The King's good servant, but God's First".

Think hard about those words for a moment.... "The King's good servant, but God's First"

Now fast forward almost 500 years to present day America.

Quasi-Republican frontrunner and serial matrimonialsit Rudy "I'm Too Sexy For My Comb Over" Giuliani and the Democrat "Gang of 18" have essentially told The Holy Father to go to hell because these individuals are of the opinion that the abortion procedure is also the 8th Sacrament.

Let's not lie to each other here, OK? These 19 theobortionists worship at the Altar of the Bloody Gurney. Period.

Roe v. Wade is their Sacred Writ. The history of judge after judge protecting abortion is their Sacred Tradition. "A woman's right to choose is a constitutional right!" is their chaplet. Governmentally sanctioned murder of the innocent is their god. We all know this stuff... nothing new here.

But has anyone noticed how they've turned the last words of St. Thomas More on it's head? It's now "God's good servant, but The King's First".

And the USCCB nervously looks the other way and tries to look busy. How pathetic things have become.
____________________________________________________________________
Rosa L. DeLauro (CT-3), Joe Baca (CA-43), Tim Bishop (NY-1), Joe Courtney (CT-2), Anna Eshoo (CA-14), Maurice Hinchey, (NY-22), Patrick Kennedy (RI-1), James Langevin (RI-2), John Larson (CT-1), Carolyn McCarthy (NY-4), Betty McCollum (MN-4), Jim Moran (VA-8), Bill Pascrell (NJ-8), Tim Ryan (OH-17), Linda Sanchez (CA-39), José Serrano (NY -16), Hilda Solis (CA-32), and Mike Thompson (CA-1).

Not Quite The Devil-Worshipping Monsters We Were All Led To Believe, Huh?
They're actually quite cuddly

Far from being some exceedingly minor Vatican bureaucrat, Cardinal Castrillón Hoyos, in an interview with the Mexican news agency Notimex has stated (with regard to the SSPX) the following;

"They are not schismatics, the priests are under a suspension for illicit exercise, and the Bishops are excommunicated because the ordination of new bishops without a permission from Rome received this punishment latæ sententiæ."

Hmmm... you mean the SSPX really isn't schismatic??!! And, at worse, their bishops are in the same category as those of the various Eastern Orthodox?!

I for one, find it amazing the absolute hatred that has been spewing forth from the yaps of many a "progressive" priest/crazy nun/Prot-wannabe member of the laity since the 1970's concerning the SSPX. Seriously... you can almost see the hatred dripping from their lips.

Gee, I wonder why the Ecu-Maniacs in The Church haven't "reached out" to the SSPX? They'll "dialouge" all day and night with moslems, hindus, Tierra Del Fuegan Turd-Worshippers, etc... but the SSPX? As they say in Brooklyn ~ fugeddaboudit.

I tell ya... to listen to Father Limpwrist & Friends, you'd think that a rather small number of SSPX priests were molesting little boys, but most of their bishops were protecting them. Oops, I just confused the SSPX with the USCCB.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Definition Of True Ecumenism
Quick... notify the USCCB

I normally don't watch The Colbert Report, but as I was channel surfing the other night, I was lucky enough to stumble across this gem from Stephen Colbert ~

"But I'm not speaking against [Presidential Candidate Gov. Mitt Romney] being a Mormon. In fact, I consider all religions equal. And by equal, I mean they're all tied for 2d place behind Catholicism."

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Absolutely NO SHAME!
Billary attempts to prostitute the image of Mother Teresa

Washington DC, May 16, 2007 - The national Catholic-based advocacy group Fidelis, is calling for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign to remove an image of Blessed Mother Teresa from their campaign video. The video, which was released Monday, is narrated by her husband, former President Bill Clinton.

“It is wholly inappropriate, disrespectful and disturbing that Hillary Clinton is using an image of Blessed Mother Teresa as a political tool, especially given their radically different views on abortion,” said Fidelis president Joseph Cella.

“Mother Teresa tirelessly fought to protect unborn children, while Hillary Clinton staunchly supports abortion on demand in all nine months of pregnancy, including partial birth abortion and taxpayer funding of abortion,” he said. The video, which can be viewed on YouTube, contains an image of Hillary and Blessed Teresa at approximately 2:26 into the video. When the picture appears, the former president can be heard saying: “Hillary, in effect, was the face of America…in India”.

The video then goes to a clip of the former First Lady’s address at the 1995 Beijing Conference, where a push was made to declare abortion a fundamental “human right.”

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

No Explaination Needed
Helmet tip to my incognito buddy!

"My Life's Dream Is To Blow People Up For Allah... So Where's It Written that I Can't Smell Good In The Process?"
Sometimes a guy just likes to smell... you know... nice

Enemy combatant, man about town, and all around scumbag, one Majid Khan was the headliner of the following story coming to us from Fox News;

WASHINGTON — An accused enemy combatant held at Guantanamo Bay told a military hearing he was physically as well as mentally tortured there by having to read a newsletter full of 'crap,' being forced to use unscented deodorant and shampoo and having to play sports with a ball that would not bounce.

Majid Khan of Pakistan denied any connection to Al Qaeda and said he was tortured and his family hounded by U.S. authorities, according to a redacted transcript released Tuesday by the Pentagon.

Khan told an April 15 hearing called to determine whether he was rightly classified as an "enemy combatant" that he also had his baby pictures taken from him, that cleaners left marks on his cell walls and that detainees have no DVD players or other entertainment.

Now who in their right mind would want to enter Paradise with stinky pits... other than the French?

Various American Torture Devices

What's The Difference Between Joe Dirt And Sheryl Crow?
One was covered in the poo, the other's about to be

In light that singer Sheryl Crow hasn't had a hit in years, in a desperate move to still be considered relevant, she's adopted the latest Hollywood must-have accessory. Oops... I mean a child. But in all fairness, maybe she has all the best intentions and isn't doing this just for the momentary spotlight. One can only hope.

Either way, I find this kind of funny. Isn't she the the same chick who exhorted all of us to use only one square of toilet paper in order to save the environment?

Oh, how I'd love to see Madame Crow elbow deep in baby crap... especially if her kid is flailing around and literally slingin' the butt-mud all over the place. And here's Sheryl Crow armed with one single square of ass-wipe.

I have the funny feeling that at that moment in time, saving the planet will be the last thing on Sheryl Crow's mind.

Monday, May 14, 2007

"I Ain't Seen This Many Eye-Talians Since The Grand Opening Of Luigi's Pasta Fazool And Hair Grease Emporium"
~ Vir Speluncae Catholicus

Thousands Rally In Rome Over Unmarried Couples Law

ROME (Reuters) - Hundreds of thousands of Italians rallied at a Rome church square on Saturday to protest against a proposed law that would give greater rights to unmarried couples, including gays and lesbians. The draft legislation, which requires parliamentary approval, has divided Italy's ruling coalition, angered the powerful Roman Catholic church and stirred passionate debate.

Waving banners and dancing to tambourines and trumpets, more than 500,000 people poured into the square outside Rome's St. John in Lateran cathedral to support traditional family values based on marriage between a man and a woman. A large cardboard wedding cake with a bride and groom on top stood next to the stage, while nuns, parents and children chanted "Long live the family".

The rally's organisers -- a consortium of largely Catholic groups -- handed out millions of flyers and plastered lampposts and walls with posters in a publicity blitz before the event that ensured a strong turnout.

Not far away at Piazza Navona, hundreds gathered at a counter-demonstration to support rights for gay couples, egged on by bemused tourists. Supporters sang along to popular music, waved Communist flags and held banners like "Family Day - No thanks, Family Gay" and "Benedict XVI ... Century", referring to Pope Benedict, who has exhorted Catholic lawmakers to oppose gay marriage.

Golly gee, I wonder why the American media hasn't picked up on this story? Hmmm....

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Convert Finds Something Missing After Joining the Church

If you don’t subscribe to New Oxford Review, you should. Only fooling. If you don’t have it delivered to your house, try to get a hold of the May issue. There’s an article in it titled, “From Protestantism to Catholicism, From the Novus Ordo Mass to the Tridentine Latin Mass” about a guy who was raised in a Lutheran home, grew up, and wandered through a series of Protestant denominations before crossing the Tiber. Once he became a Catholic, he was somewhat let down when he began attending Mass, i.e., New Mass. It was not what he had read about on his road of discovery. I guess he must have been reading pre-Vatican II books. It was only after the found the traditional Latin Mass, i.e..Classic Mass, with the splendor and awe of actually worshipping God rather than self that he really felt he had “come home.”

You can read the first paragraph of the article on-line.
Happy Mother's Day To My Little 2d Class Relic
Mrs. Caveman, that is

Here's a pic of me and the House Sergeant Major that was taken about 30 pounds ago. Oh... we don't measure time chronologically anymore, it's in pounds. "Remember when we were a couple of skinny kids when we first dated... about 45 pounds ago? Yes, dear.

Those of you who are rapidly approaching 50 know exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyhow, my better half is big into genealogy. She recently verified from multiple sources her lineage. Turns out that someone WAAAAAAAAY back in Meddy Old England was minor royalty. And there's no bigger group of inbreds like the Royal Houses of Europe. And they kept family records like it was nobody's business. So it turns out that if you're related to one, you're related to all.

So it turns out that my sweetie is a direct descendant of;

St. Begga of Landen

St. Arnulf, Bishop of Metz

St. Margaret, Queen of Scotland

Bl. Charlemagne, King of the Franks and Holy Roman Emperor

What a lucky guy I am. I get to kiss a Holy Relic every day!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Holy Communion
To receive Communion you must be in communion

Father Tom Euteneuer, the president of Human Life International and the priest who firmly corrected Cafeteria-Catholic Sean Hannity on the air, has a short teaching video (five minutes or less) on the Eucharist that it worth listening to.

Below is a brief synopsis of the main points Fr. Ike says are necessary for one to receive Holy Communion.

Social communion – you must be a member of the Catholic Church.

Spiritual communion – you must be in a state of grace and believe in the Real Presence.

Doctrinal communion – you must believe all that the Catholic Church teaches as true and worthy of belief.

Yes, that is the official USMC flag in the background. Fr. Ike is a former officer candidate of the Marine Corps, which may give you some idea of the kind of priest he is (especially if you heard him make mincemeat of Hannity).
To Those Who Believe, No Explanation Is Necessary
To those who don't, no explanation will do

From Spirit Daily;

STRANGE LIGHT CLAIMED IN GUADALUPE IMAGE AFTER MEXICO CITY OKAYED ABORTION

An apparent communique from Dr. Jean-Pierre Dickès, president of the Catholic Association for Doctors, Nurses and Health Professionals, reports what may have been an unusual luminosity in the famed image of Mary at the Shrine of Guadalupe in Mexico City immediately after that city legalized abortion.

The event is said to have occurred on April 24 -- the day legislators okayed termination of the unborn up to twelve weeks. However, the similarity to photos taken in 1999 by an American raises questions that require further investigation for authenticity and a check of dates.

"At the end of the Mass, which was offered for the aborted children, the assistant of the Basilica was asking herself what the Most Holy Virgin of Guadalupe was demanding of her," reported Father Luis Matos, superior of La Communauté des Béatitudes.

"While many of the faithful were taking photographs of the [tilma] of Tepeyac, exposed and venerated in the Basilica and at the foot of which the crowd of pilgrims filed past on a moving carpet, the image of the Virgin began to erase itself, to give place to an intense light which emanated from her abdomen, constituting a brilliant halo having the form of an embryo. With a centering and an important enlargement it is possible to appreciate the position of the light which truly comes from the stomach of the Holy Virgin and is not a reflection, nor an artifact."

The image materialized on the cactus or "agave" cloak of a Mexican peasant in 1531 and was responsible for the conversion of twelve million Indians. It is now largely used as a symbol of "pro-life" causes in the Americas because Mary appears pregnant in the image, which has been proven miraculous.

"An engineer, Luis Girault, who has studied the picture thus produced, has confirmed the authenticity of the negative, and has been able to specify that it had not been either modified nor altered, by superimposition of another image for example," stated the priest. "He discovered that the image (the picture produced) does not come from any reflection, but literally comes from the inside of the image of the Virgin. The produced light is very white, pure and intense, different from habitual photographic lights produced by flashes. This light is encircled with a halo and appears to float inside the abdomen of the Virgin. This halo has the form and measurements of an embryo. In effect if we again examine more precisely this picture by making it turn in a sagittal plan, we perceive inside the halo some areas of shade that have the characteristics of a human embryo in the maternal womb."

Friday, May 11, 2007

Forget About Paul The Regular Guy
How about instead Paul the Prophetic Guy?

The Regular Guy himself recently stated in a ComBox, "I can only pray that the Holy Father will do something to inspire you to write 'Theology Unleashed'". In fact, he posted this just a few hours ago. And as I'm cruising around the various Catholic news portals I frequent, what headline do I stumble across?

Vatican Removes 2 Men Accused Of Sexual Abuse From Priesthood
CINCINNATI (AP) - The Vatican has removed from the Roman Catholic priesthood two men who served in southwest Ohio after considering evidence that they sexually abused children, the Archdiocese of Cincinnati said Thursday.

Kenneth Schoettmer and Richard Unwin have been permanently removed from the clerical state by Pope Benedict XVI.

Now this ain't exactly the extent of the punishments that this here Caveman would like to see. Personally, I'd like to see such things as Cardinal Law turned over to the Boston DA's Office; most "Catholic" universities in this country shut down until they start conducting themselves like Catholic universities; Cardinal Mahony reassigned to the moon, etc.

Yeah... that stuff I'd like to see. But as Lao-tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".

Thursday, May 10, 2007

More Caveman-American Discrimination
REPARATIONS NOW!!

First, we... the current residents of The Lair of the Catholic Cavemen... were in need of Mella of Chesapeake, VA to defend us in her letter to the editor. Thanks Mella, for letting the world know that "cavemen are extinct". But we do appreciate you calling for an end to all caveman discrimination. Moron.

Anyhow, we now have the latest slap in the face from the Democratic Party...



Please be generous and send your contributions to the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Caveman Papists) and the UNCF (The United Neanderthal College Fund).

After all, a recently clubbed to death furry little woodland creature is a terrible thing to waste.

The Theology Of The Muzzled Dog
Next in a series of many

In the Spirit of Vatican II, I've posted many different types of "Theology of (insert noun here)" from time to time. Everything from The Theology of Street Signs, to The Theology of Punctuation

Well, we're now treated to The Theology of The Muzzled Dog.

Here's the dogma (no pun intended) behind this particular pronouncement;

The word's on the streets that The Holy Father is supporting the Mexican bishops who've stated that pro-abort politicos cannot/will not receive Holy Communion (and possibly may even excommunicate them). Note: it's only a threat... nothing as Lefevbresque as a real excommunication has actually happened to these purveyors of slaughter.

Anyhow, in that very same article, the following was reported;

The statements by the Pope have significance not only in Brazil but also in the United States and elsewhere where certain bishops have refused to follow the guidance of Rome in denying communion to pro-abortion politicians.

The most notable opposition in that vein came from the now-retired Archbishop of Washington, Theodore Cardinal McCarrick, who chaired a committee of bishops on the subject of how to deal with pro-abortion Catholic politicians.

McCarrick received direct guidance on the subject from then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger. The letter indicated that persistently pro-abortion Catholic politicians, once they had been warned, "must" be denied Communion. Not only did McCarrick publicly refuse to follow Ratzinger's directives himself, he concealed Ratzinger's communication from even some of the Bishops who were on the committee.


Then Cardinal Ratzinger has since become Pope Benedict XVI. Cardinal McCarrick has retired in the good graces of The Church. Catholic bishops authorize abortions in Catholic hospitals. Pro-abortion politicians still speak at Catholic institutions. Pelosi, Schwarzenegger, Kennedy and Giuliani still receive Holy Communion.

Oh, and yet another "Catholic" College (Boston Law School) will have a *pro-abortion politician as their commencement speaker.

OK... how does all this constitute The Theology of The Muzzled Dog? Simple. There you are, late at night in your dark, secluded home. But not to worry... you have your muzzled German Shepherd. He's lean, he's mean, he don't take any grief in between! You feel SAFE knowing such a fine animal is by your side.

But at the other end of the house... you hear someone breaking in! Muffled voices! You just crapped your pants!! Ahhh, but you have one bad-ass German Shepherd right next to you.

Then it hits you ---- unless this dog is going to pee the burglar to death, you can count on Fido actually doing only two things; "jack" and "shit". Well, Fido just might make a whole buncha noise and look ferocious. But that's about it.

Just like all the balloon-juice directives and pronouncements coming out of Rome concerning their non-stance against pro-butchery politicians. Ladies and gentlemen --- The Theology of the Muzzled Dog.

It sure would be nice to see some deeds follow all these profound words. Kind like the whole "Faith and Works" thingee. Ya think?


______________________________


*Boston College Law School invited Congressman Edward J. Markey, who openly supports abortion “rights”, to speak at its 2007 Law School commencement.

Stating his pleasure at announcing Markey’s acceptance of the engagement, the College Law Dean, John H. Garvey, lauded Markey as “one of the most distinguished graduates of Boston College Law School, whose career of public service reflects the very best values and traditions of the School.”

Markey is a known supporter of embryonic stem cell research and pro-abortion organizations. Planned Parenthood identified him as having been "100 percent" supportive of the organization in 2006, in a listing by the non-partisan voter-information research group "Vote Smart."

In 2006 Markey was one of 55 "Catholic" Democrats to sign a declaration attempting to reconcile support for abortion with membership in the Catholic Church. The statement assured the public that the signatories agreed with the Church on the value of human life, but instead of opposing abortion the group advocated for "reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies and creating an environment with policies that encourage pregnancies to be carried to term. We believe this includes promoting alternatives to abortion..."

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

"From Our Own Truth And Inner Authority"
Who needs the magisterium when there are nuns better in touch with the real truth?

From The California Catholic Daily, here's just a wee bit;

The peace and justice ministry of the Los Angeles archdiocese is promoting a “gathering” that will feature a Dominican sister known as a defender of diversity -- “bio” and sexual.

The event is cosponsored by Mount St. Mary’s College in Los Angeles and the Immaculate Heart Community, a women’s religious community that broke with the Los Angeles archdiocese in 1970 because Cardinal James McIntyre would not tolerate the community’s version of “renewal.”

The Immaculate Hearts’ “renewal” has developed over the years to embrace feminism and Earth Spirituality, a movement that claims to draw from wisdom traditions and the “new science” to arrive at a quasi-pantheistic view of the universe as the body of God. A representative of both feminism and Earth Spirituality, Adrian Dominican sister Carol Coston will address the June gathering.

Cultural diversity, it appears, includes what is called “gender diversity.” In 1999, Coston wrote a letter to religious sisters in which she criticized the Holy See’s silencing of Sister Jeannine Gramick and Father Robert Nugent, whose New Ways Ministry (which calls itself “a gay-positive ministry of advocacy and justice for lesbian and gay Catholics and reconciliation within the larger Christian and civil communities”) the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith found inconsistent with Church teaching.

In her “Reflections” on the silencing, Coston complained of the Church’s squelching of “individual conscience” and the autonomy of “individual sisters and their communities.” She questioned the “process” which the Church has followed “in arriving at the ‘official’ teaching on homosexuality.”

The burden of Coston’s “Reflections” was the question, “How shall we respond?” And her answer: “From our own truth and inner authority, as women religious living into the next millennium.”


This whole thing smacks of a post I did awhile back concerning an allegedly "Catholic" nun who stated that abortion was "essential" and "not murder". And she's still a Religious in good standing. Amazing.

I wonder if those who hate Archbishop Lefevbre for all his "disobedience" will say even one negative thing about either of these crazy nuns. We'll see.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

"Springtime Of The Church", My Ass
Seriously.... is anyone REALLY surprised?
WARNING! Harsh language alert

Interesting story here concerning The Holy Father trying to stop the hemorrhaging "Spirit of Vatican II" mess that has diseased Brazil.

Few believe the five-day papal visit, which begins Wednesday, will reverse the flight of Catholics who have abandoned the church to become Protestants - or who simply stopped attending Mass amid profound societal change.

Brazil's census shows the percentage of citizens characterizing themselves as Catholics plunged from 89 percent in 1980 to 74 percent in 2000, while those calling themselves evangelical Protestants rose from 7 percent to 15 percent.

Let's cut through the bullshit, shall we? It was "The Spirit of Vatican II" that introduced Communist-inspired Liberation Theology to Latin America. Now atheism and religious indifferentism is on the rise. Anyone surprised?

It was "The Spirit of Vatican II" that shoved Moral Relativism and the whole "question everything" mentality down the throats of the Faithful in Latin America to the point that they lost their faith. Anyone surprised?

It was "The Spirit of Vatican II" that presented a liturgy that was so Protestant-friendly, millions of Catholics made a seamless shift to Protestantism. Anyone surprised?

But hey, we have problems here in The States. Check out my somewhat old post concerning the fastest growing denomination in the once Catholic stronghold of the Northeast United States.

The title of the post kind gives it away;

O'Malley, Wojciechowski, Cascardi, Novak
...and other Mormon names

Thanks "Spirit of Vatican II". But hey... is anyone REALLY surprised?

Monday, May 07, 2007

What's A Syro-Malankara Catholic?
A Catholic... that's what!

If any of you out these are a history major like I was... or just plain interested in the history and structure of The Church, you're probably going to be fascinated to read up on the various Rites within The Church.

This link gives a quick, but concise, overview of the various rites. Everything from the Alexandrian Rite Catholics of Egypt and Ethiopia (who were initially evangelized by St. Mark the Apostle), to the Malankarese Catholics of Southern India (who were initially evangelized by St. Thomas the Apostle).


I've found that knowledge of the various Rites of Catholicism can be useful while engaged in discussion/debate with non-Catholics, usually Evangelical Protestants.

To those that claim that Catholicism never existed in the first few centuries of The Early Church, I would ask them; "how do you explain the ancient Rites such as the Maronites of Lebanon or the Italo-Albanians who have always held allegiance to The See of Peter? Or even those who re-united with Rome after they were part of any given schism. They were loyal to Rome prior to... right?

Example: from the Ethiopian Catholic Church website;

Around the year 341 A.D., Saint Frumentius (Abune Salama Kesatie Berhan) was consecrated the first Bishop of Ethiopia by the great Saint Athanasius, Patriarch of Alexandria, who was in union with the Bishop of Rome. Thus the Bishop of Alexandria was the bridge between the Bishop of Rome and the Bishop of Ethiopia.

Well, even if your not big into the whole debate scene... just knowing the history of our Church and how widespread She is, all this I find to be fascinating.

A Blast From The Past
From May 8, 2006

________________________
Happy Hard Hat Riot Day!
Construction Workers, Stock Exchange Suits, New York's Finest.... just two words; HELL YES!!

Hat Tip to Relapsed Catholic

"A lot of us are World War II vets and fathers and purple hearts. We're from a generation that believes the flag over everything." (Electrician Morty Grutman, quoted in the New York Post, May 9, 1970)

36 years ago today, communist led anti-war hippie scum (better known as The Great Unwashed) staged themselves at the George Washington statue on Wall Street and were waving Communist Viet Cong flags and burning, urinating and defecating on American flags, just like what had recently happened in Washington DC.

New York city construction workers (better known as The Hard Hats) had had enough. They proceeded to charge the hippie base camp and set up American flags, then pursued and thumped the living shit out of said Great Unwashed. What happened next, no one expected... the construction workers were unexpectedly joined by white collar office workers (better known as The Suits) from the New York Stock Exchange. The NYSE literally emptied as Suits fought shoulder to shoulder along side the Hard Hats.

Mayor John Lindsay ordered that all flags on City buildings be lowered to half mast due to the Kent State shootings, which the construction workers of New York overwhelmingly opposed. They threatened to overwhelm City Hall unless the flag was raised to full mast, which it was... by the construction workers themselves.

In an other unexpected turn of events, 150 NYPD officers assigned to City Hall didn't interfere while the Hard Hats and Suits taught the Great Unwashed a thing or two about manners, decorum, and patriotism. As the American flag was raised to full staff over City Hall, the construction workers asked Police Officers remove their riot helmets in respect. They did.

The Hard Hat Riots were followed by a series of pro-war rallies in New York almost every day during May. These rallies culminated in a large Wednesday, May 20, 1970, rally. Over 100,000 hard hats, stock brokers and other workers peacefully marched through the streets of downtown New York City. The rally was organized by the local New York City construction workers union to show support for President Nixon and the Vietnam War.

Funny, schools never teach about this.



Sunday, May 06, 2007

How Archbishop Lefevbre, SSPX, Could Have Kept From Being Excommunicated

1. Abandon any notion of celebrating The Traditional Latin Mass... ever.

2. Embrace with all the fervor of a Rotweiller to a pork chop, the Polka Mass, the Hula Mass, the Animal Sacrifice Mass, the Hokey-Pokey Mass, the Joan Baez Mass, the Gay Mass, the Cowboy Mass, the Rock-'N-Roll Mass, the Gay Cowboy Rock-'N-Roll Mass, etc, etc.

3. Not only allow, but also endorse the usage of abortifacients at Catholic hospitals in his Archdiocese.

4. Attack, belittle, berate, and arrogantly dismiss everything pre-Vatican II, to include the vast majority of The Holy Bible and just about all of Sacred Tradition.

5. Embrace everything that "celebrates" the active homosexual lifestyle. And yes... the word "embrace" can be taken proverbially or literally. Just ask Archbishop Rembert "I Paid My Boyfriend $450,000 In Hush Money" Weakland.

6. Publicly kiss the ass of every pro-abortion, pro-euthanasia, pro-stem cell research, pro-homosexual "civil union" politico in sight.
a. Not only kiss their ass, but kiss it soooooo hard, you can tell what they had for breakfast.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Speaking Of Gutless "Leaders"
Paul, Just a Regular Guy, You Know? nailed this one

Amazingly enough, Paul is taking heat for this post on his ComBox. To think that there are Catholics out there who'll damn Paul for speaking the truth. Amazing...

Anyhow, here's a few choice paragraphs from Paul;

Last November, some commenters took me to task for suggesting that the American bishops, and particularly Chicago Archbishop Francis Cardinal George, hadn't been vocal enough in the struggle for a culture of life.

He tolerates the existence of a Queer Studies program at DePaul University.

There is no public censure of the hoard of pro-abortion Catholic public figures in Chicago, including Mayor Richard Daley, Governor Rod Blagoevich, Senator Richard Durbin, Cook County Board President Todd Stroger (and his father before him), and many more. In fact, in his Diocesan newspaper last year, Cardinal George wrote:


Do all Catholic politicians understand their obligations in conscience? Apparently not, which means that their pastors have to take the time to speak with them personally. A pastoral conversation about the formation of conscience is not an interference in the political process. It is an exercise in pastoral charity, motivated by a desire for a politician’s salvation. The politician will someday be asked by the Lord: “What did you do to the least of my brothers and sisters?” And the pastor will be asked by the same Lord: “What did you do to warn them? How did you help them form their conscience?”

Do you notice where he places responsibility? On the politician for coming unworthily to communion, and on the parish priest. In Cardinal George's view, there is no role for the Archbishop in correcting public officials who create a scandal for the entire Church and the entire nation.

Senator Clinton has no business in any Catholic facility, except to receive instruction in the faith and morals handed down by the Apostles. She certainly has no place speaking at a Catholic venue. The priests and nuns at Mercy Home, and evidently Cardinal George himself, don't seem to agree. "Mercy," indeed. Tell it to the 40 million killed by abortion. [emphasis mine]

The Cardinal's actions don't seem to march well with his words.

Now Cardinal George may not have committed an excommunicable act... but his actions certainly illustrate that he's more than willing to turn Nelson's Eye to the American Mengeles who are perpetrating our own little Holocaust.

How many more tears must Our Lady of Akita weep?

How Dare He Mention the National Motto in Class!
School teacher lived in ignorance for 25 years

What's this country coming to? One American airport is using tax money to build a foot bath for Moslems, at the same time the liberals move every closer to outlawing Christianity.

Do you remember when you went to school and one of the things that was taught by immersion was patriotism, i.e., love of country? Do you remember saying the Pledge of Allegiance before class? In the younger grades, a different kid got to hold the flag each day. That kid always seemed to stand a little taller when his or her day came. When they still had time for music in class, one of the songs you learned was the National Anthem.

How times have changed.

Brad Johnson is a respected teacher. For 30 years has been teaching in the Poway (Calif.) Unified School District, near San Diego. For nearly 25 years, he has had banners in his classroom that contained the following phrases:
In God We Trust,” the official motto of the United States;
One Nation Under God,” the 1954 amendment to the Pledge of Allegiance; “God Bless America,” a patriotic song considered to be the unofficial national anthem of the United States;
God Shed His Grace On Thee,” a line from “America the Beautiful,” a popular patriotic song; and
All Men Are Created Equal, They Are Endowed By Their Creator,” an excerpt from the preamble to the Declaration of Independence.

After a quarter century of displaying the banners without complaint, school officials (no doubt products of the ‘60s “revolution”) objected to the educational banners because they included the words “God” and “Creator” and ordered him to remove them from his classroom walls because, according to the officials, the banners promote a “Judeo-Christian” viewpoint. (Gasp!!)

Catholic lawyers to the rescue!

The Thomas More Law Center, a national public interest law firm, has filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the school district. The lawsuit claims that school officials violated Johnson’s constitutional rights by imposing a viewpoint-based restriction on his speech. It further alleges this restriction “serves no valid educational purpose, is not reasonably related to any legitimate pedagogical concern, and conveys a government-sponsored message of disapproval of and hostility toward religion” in violation of the United States and California Constitutions. The lawsuit seeks to have the speech restriction overturned so that Johnson can continue to display his banners, as he had been for 25 years.

It's Official. Certain "Catholic Bishops" Approve Of Abortions In "Catholic" Hospitals
Archbishop Lefevbre was "excommunicated" for what, again? At least he never murdered anyone

HARTFORD, May 2, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) - The Catholic Medical Association, the largest professional organization of Catholic physicians in the U.S. is resolutely opposed to the use of the abortifacient morning after pill (also known as 'emergency contraception' or its generic name Plan B) in Catholic Hospitals because of its potential to cause abortions. Nevertheless, the Catholic Bishops of both Connecticut and Wisconsin and other states have publicly admitted that their Catholic hospitals are distributing such pills to rape victims.

In a joint April 25 letter signed by the Bishops of Connecticut, Archbishop of Hartford Henry Mansell, and Bishop of Bridgeport William Lori, the prelates state: "It is important to repeat that Connecticut's Catholic hospitals do provide emergency contraception." Later in the letter they add, "We would not object to passage of a statute that would require all hospitals to adopt protocols requiring the distribution of Plan B to sexual assault victims when medically appropriate."

LifeSiteNews.com has learned that some Catholic hospitals in Massachusetts, Colorado, New York, California, Washington also offer so-called 'emergency contraception' to some rape victims.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't The Church teach the following;

2272 of The Catechism of the Catholic Church ~ Formal cooperation in an abortion constitutes a grave offense. The Church attaches the canonical penalty of excommunication to this crime against human life. "A person who procures a completed abortion incurs excommunication latae sententiae, by the very commission of the offense," and subject to the conditions provided by Canon Law.

So where the hell's the outrage? In case some folks still don't get it, allow me to break this down in no uncertain terms;

These bastards are murdering children. And to make matters worse.... Rome will do absolutely nothing.
Movie Quotes That Every Caveman Should Have Memorized
And most of you already do!

"A little religious communication might not be a bad idea at this stage of the game. Now myself, I don't take any chances, I talk to Mohammed, Buddha, Mr. Jesus H. Christ Himself and any other religious honchos I can come up with." ~ Sgt. Maj. Hafner (R. Lee Ermey) as he tells what's left of his unit that they are surrounded (and heavily outnumbered) by a North Vietnamese Army regiment in The Siege of Firebase Gloria.

"...and who taught you to be playin' patty fingers in the Holy Water!?" ~ Michaleen Oge Flynn (Barry Fitzgerald) in The Quiet Man.

"I want to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill." ~ Private Joker (Matthew Modine) in Full Metal Jacket.

"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk" ~ Curly Howard in every Three Stooges film.

"I've come to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of bubble gum." ~ Nada (Roddy Piper) in They Live.

"I TOLD you not to make that last payment!" Oliver Hardy yelling at (and hitting with his hat) poor Stan Laurel after they both watch their Model T collapse into many, many pieces before their very eyes in The Stolen Jools.

"And Shepherds we shall be for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand. Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee. And teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomine Patris, Et Filii, [guns cock] Spiritus Sancti. [they open fire]" ~ The brothers Connor and Murphy MacManus (Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus) in Boondock Saints.

"I am gonna hit you with so many rights, you're gonna beg for a left." ~ Matt Hunter (Chuck Norris) in Invasion, USA.

"It's K-K-K-Ken c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!" ~ Otto (Kevin Klein) in A Fish Called Wanda.

"Do you see that road over there? Yes. Well... pay no attention to it a'tall. It'll do you no good!" Sean Thornton (John Wayne) getting directions from a helpful Irish train conductor in The Quiet Man.

"Guards! ... Knights! ... Squires! ... Prepare for battle" ~ Sir Kay (Niall O'Brien) in Excalibur.

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." ~ Pete Clemenza (Richard Castellano) in The Godfather.

[In heavily accented French] "We're so poor, we can't even afford our own language! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier! Haw, haw, haw!!" ~ Some impoverished peasant in History of the World, Part I.

[Sgt Maj Hafner holds up two severed American heads] "Anyone know who these belong to? This is Corporal Miller. He's dead. Hell, the whole gun crew's dead!! And to add insult to injury, Charlie took the fifty-f*****g caliber machine gun with him! I don't have any respect for Corporal Miller anymore, because he allowed his troops to relax. They let their guard down for five f*****g minutes, and Charlie took advantage of it. Look at 'em, God*****t! Pay attention. Stay alert! Stay alive! It's as simple as that!" ~ Yet again, Sgt Maj Hafner (R. Lee Ermey) gives a motivational speech to the troops on the importance of being alert in The Siege of Firebase Gloria. (I find this one to be particularly funny because it's real-life, typical Marine Corps gallows humor. Yes, we really do say things like this)

Can anyone think of any more that are Bloglodyte worthy?

Friday, May 04, 2007

And These Three Idiots Want To Be President?
DNC still searcing for a spine (and brain) donor

John Edwards, Jr., Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton... the political equivelent of Moe, Larry and Curly (known here in The Lair collectivly as Twiggy Hussein McBitchy) have all recently stated that the plan to boycott the September debate hosted by Fox News.

I just wanna make sure I understand this correctly.... these three mezzofinooks say they're ready to take on this guy ~


But they won't even face this guy?

In the immortal words of Dr. Evil; "Riiiiiiiiiight".

Correction. This debate is being co-sponsored by both Fox News and the Congressional Black Caucus. And we all know what a bunch of Right-Wing fanatics the CBC is.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

More From That Freak-Show Better Known As New Jersey
Joisey now tied with Than Franthithco on God's hit list

WARNING!! Harsh language alert! Send the kids out of the room.

Episcopalians (well, most of 'em) and Roman Protestants everywhere wobbled off their knees long enough to huzzah and hallelujah their lungs out over the announcement that disgraced ex-governor and full-time butt pirate, Jim McGreevey, has left The One, True Faith, and become an Episcopalian.

But wait! There's more! The Luv Gov is also going to become an Episcopalian "priest".

I just wanna make sure I have this right...

1. He lied to his wife for years about being a Back Door Conquistador.
2. He abandoned his wife and child.
3. He is now shacking up with his Aussie boyfriend. (No Down Under jokes. That'd be too easy)
4. He not once even had the decency to apologize to his wife.
5. He's not only unrepentant about lying to and abandoning his family, but also of committing the Sin of Sodom.

Mr. McGreevey, please cease and desist from mistaking your fecally stained erection with what should be your moral compass.

Oh, by the way... McGreevey has been busy for the past couple of years teaching Ethics, Law and Leadership at Kean University.

He'll make a fine Episcopalian "priest".

Any of you Episcopalians who still have your heads screwed on straight ready to Swim The Tiber?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

BREAKING NEWS!! Cardinal Recognizes Obvious...
Film at 11

Here's just a bit;

The prefect of the Congregation for the Clergy, Cardinal Claudio Hummes, called on the faithful in Latin America to reach out to fallen away Catholics who have joined other Christian denominations.

"In recent years," he continued, "the Church in America has lost 1% of its faithful each year." Therefore, he encouraged Catholics to create new initiatives of evangelization in the region where almost half of the world’s Catholics live. "Perhaps the future of worldwide Catholicity is at risk," he said.

Among the reasons Catholics leave the Church to join other Christian denominations is "
the moral relativism imported from Europe and introduced into Latin America, especially by local leaders, the mass media and intellectuals," the cardinal said, citing the recent legalization of abortion in Mexico as an example.

Your Eminence, that "moral relativism" that you speak of, is better known as "The Spirit of Vatican II", and here in The Lair, we call it "Roman Protestantism". But don't fret, Your Eminence... the solution is almost here.

All will be fine when Catholics get back in the habit of being Catholics.
A What Tard?
a MOtard!!

Kopp over at Universal Indult had me laughin' out loud over this one.

It turns out that Kopp is a wee bit of a motorcycle enthusiast... and he's into something called "Motard". As Kopp puts it;

Short for Supermotard, a synonym for Supermoto. This is a type of motorcycle racing that places motocross-style bikes on combination tarmac/dirt courses.

Anyway, back to "Motard"... Yes, it already has a specific definition in the world of motorcycles, but it now has a new trad definition:

Motard:
Any Catholic who, after the publication of the Motu Proprio, refuses to acknowledge either its existence, its pragmatic necessity, or its potential for good in the Church and the salvation of many souls.

Sooooo.... does this help any?

This is a motorcycle Motard

These are a couple of theological Motards