Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Is Your Kid A Hyper-Active Spazz?
If so, the Caveman has the remedy
WARNING! Harsh language alert! I'm in a foul mood.

If I gotta see one more commercial for ADD or ADHD or ADBFD or whatever the hell that made-up disease is called, I'm going to projectile vomit day-glo.

Enough of the Kiddie-Cocaine. And let's be honest, sure there are some kids that need this stuff... but for the most part it comes down to sorry, lazy-ass parents that look to the television and riddaline to raise/control their kids.

With that said, listen up Pilgrims... if your kid is simply nothing more than a spoiled brat and is wound up tighter than a Chinese wristwatch, here's what ya do;

1. Say "no". This will only work if you're consistent. This works the vast majority of the time.

2. If said spazz/brat attack persists, a single sharp open handed smack on the back of the head followed with a rather loud "what the hell's the matter with you!? I SAID NO!" This usually clears up the small percentage that didn't heed Step 1.

3. If steps 1 and 2 failed... accept it. You screwed up by actually listening to all those self-proclaimed "experts", huggy-touchy morons who've totally screwed up an entire generation. About the only hope that poor kid has is if you ship his ass off to Military School. May I suggest the Marine Military Academy in Harlingen, Texas?

14 Comments:

Blogger Christine said...

Excellent post buddy!

I feel so bad for those poor kids that are drugged up for...being kids

8:43 PM  
Blogger John said...

Superb commentary. I haven't interrogated any terrorists lately, but I hear "waterboarding" works well for them. I suspect a few seconds of this treatment would make a gentleman out of anyone. Perhaps this is worth a try for those failing steps 1 and 2? Best to reserve it for the older kids though ... the younger ones might not understand your real motivation.

2:24 AM  
Blogger SleepyBob said...

I agree with you except for this one sentence, "If said spazz/brat attack persists, a single sharp open handed smack on the back of the head followed with a rather loud "what the hell's the matter with you!? I SAID NO!"

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER hit a child on the head!

5:43 AM  
Blogger Chad said...

Ever noticed how the vast majority of kids on "kiddie cocaine" (I gotta remember that one) are boys? A lot of times it ain't the parents who want to put the poor kid on drugs, it's his teacher... If all little boys would act like little girls, the whole world would be a better place.

8:15 AM  
Blogger IR said...

You primitaive cave dweller! marine Milaitry Acadamy indeed! Culver I say! Based on ARMY traditions, especially those of the Corps of Engineers and the King of Battle, Artillery!

On the other hand--MMA would work wonders for some of the punks I know, so you are far ahead of the "drug you kid" crowd.

Airborn! All the Way

11:00 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

John,
I wouldn't go as far as waterboarding. Possibly TWO smacks to the back of the head, instead?


SB,
A single, open handed slap says more than any amount of talking could ever do.

But if a smack to the noggin un personally unpalatable, then one to the shoulder should suffice.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

IR,
Culver I say! Based on ARMY traditions.

That reason alone is sufficient to keep anyone away. Who in their right mind would want to be associated with the B-Team?

But I'm sure that there are some kinds out there that they could square away.

First To Fight, Second To None!!! MARINE CORPS!

5:29 PM  
Blogger Milehimama said...

I dragged my child to the bathroom (hadn't spanked him...yet...) at church after he tore a page out of my missal and spit on it (5 year old). (True, I do use the earlobe method of making a child go where I want...)
TWO different ladies told me that I needed to be more understanding, and shouldn't be so harsh... at church!
No wonder kids are pushed out into Children's Mass daycare to worship away from their parents. Parents don't, or aren't allowed to teach them to behave in the pew.

I have a child with an actual mental illness. Those "ADD" parents ain't seen NOTHING! Sometimes, 6 year old boys actually do act like boys, instead of 35 yr. old ladies. Really.

7:29 PM  
Blogger IR said...

Vir Speluncae cathloicus:

At least the Army is it's own Service--not at associated with, let alone a SUBSIDIARY of--The Navy.

Airborne class 12-80 Sets The Pace.

PS but better a Jar Head than a laig anyday!

Keep the faith bro!

9:00 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

*sigh* As usual, allow me to educate the dog faces amongst us.

For those who failed to follow the goings on in the US Armed Forces for let's say.... the past 50 years, the Marine Corps is a fully equal memeber with the US Navy within the civilian run Department of the Navy.

Case in point... anyone notice the guy in the Marine Corps unifirm who happens to be the Big Dog on the Joint Chiefs? Hardly a subsidiary.

So I reinterate; Who in their right mind would want to be associated with the B-Team?

First to Fight, Second to NONE! MARINE CORPS!!

PS, better a doggie than a zoomie.

Keep fightin' the good fight, IR!

5:09 AM  
Blogger Fr. Erik Richtsteig said...

Umm, isnt the Navy a department of the Marine Corp whose sole purpose is to provide logistics, deliver the Marines to the beach, and provide fire support? At least that's what the Marines told me while I was growing up.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

And how right they were, Pater!

But in all sincerity, God bless those swab-jockies. And the Doggies, Zoomies, and Coasties everywhere.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I do agree alot of children's behaviour has to do with upbringing and the parents control and actions.

My ds is currently acting up. He is going through a difficult time related to an incident with his dad and me. It is heartbreaking to watch him.

But I am doing something because medicate him. He still needs to follow certain expectations in this household, and I've set up counselling for him.

Before this all 3 of my dk's went to mass, sat there and behaved. I often got comments how well behaved they were.

I for one don't spank...I think it should be outlawed. But I use other forms of discipline which are effective. That is the key...consistent discipline.

6:49 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Jennifer,
As I had posted, corporal punishment isn't the 1st option.

But it should always remain an option.

7:27 AM  

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