STOP THE PRESSES!!!
Breaking news....

Forget about Lebanon. Put Iraq off to the side. Afghanistan can wait.

This just in from Los Angeles;

18 year old Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza, Miss Puerto Rico, was just crowned Miss Universe 2006.

From what I understand, she completely screwed up the interview portion. Many considered her out of the running. From what I was told, here interview went something like this;

Host - Carlos Ponce: What is it you want more than anything?

Rivera Mendoza: Ju kno' wa' I wan' more dan anyting, man? Lemme tell ju wa I wan', man... Whirl piss.

*gasps from audience, stunned look from Ponce*

Ponce: P-Pardon me? You want what??!!

Rivera Mendoza: Why ju look at me like dat?! Ju so stoooooopid! Ju hear me right! Whirl piss. Eferbody luff each udder. Ju kno' wa' I mean... no more war an' chit like dat! WHIRL PISS!! ¡No puedo creer el que el pinche pendejo me pidió!

Golly gee, I wonder how Rivera Mendoza won.

Oh... yeah, that's right. This is why she won.