His most shocking sermon yet...
Winner of the Sesame Street's "The Count" Look-A-Like Contest, pseudo-Catholic bishop Tommy Gumbleton of Detroit has given The Holy Inquisition all the kindling wood it needs to eliminate Gumby's particular brand of heresy. Keep in mind, this was his CHRISTMAS sermon .
Discussing the ongoing War on Christmas, here are just some of the gems that The Gumbinator has spewn forth...
How do you suppose the first Christian community would have reacted to this kind of a controversy? They would not even been able to think of such a thing, because the first Christian community didn't celebrate Christmas.
Oh... and it just got better from there. Gumby essentially "preached" how Christmas wasn't even celebrated in the Early Church. How the hell does HE KNOW?!
The second most important Holy Day in The Church's liturgical calendar, and Goombaton essentially blows it off as if Christmas is nothing more than a minor Feast Day for some obscure monk from 9th century Lower Slobovia.
The first part of his sermon was simply disgusting. I didn't think it could get any worse... then I read the second half. I guess pooh-poohing Christmas wasn't bad enough. Comrade Gumbelovich decided to launch an attack on America.
What does our Congress do? They pass a budget where they eliminate money to pay heating costs for the poor. They eliminate health care money for the poor. They eliminate education assistance for the poor. They pass a budget that is a disgrace! If you try to follow the way of Jesus it's a complete contradiction.
Can someone who lives in the Detroit area please swing by His Eccentricy hacienda and possibly snap a photo of exactly what his residency looks like? I'd be willing to bet that it's a rather opulent kinda place. And while you're at it... fill us in on what kind of car he tools around in. Geo Metro... Kia... Ford Escort? NOT!!
And our own little Statue of Liberty even has time to weigh in on illegal immigration (the key word here is "illegal")
I was thinking, too, of the immigration bill that was passed. If Jesus wanted to enter our country he couldn't do it as an immigrant or refugee, because we want to build a wall to keep people out even though we're a nation of immigrants.
Uhhh.... nooooo.... Jesus will descend upon the clouds with a Host of Angels surrounding Him. But hey, mean ol' America must HATE JESUS because we are desirous of protecting our borders. The way Chicken Gumbo can manipulate words is certainly something to marvel at.
Had enough? No way, baby! It's time for the Piece of Resistance (sorry, I can't spell in French).
Whooooooa. As they say on the loading docks, back the truck up! Did Gumberiffic just refer to Holy Mother The Church... The Bride of Christ... as EVIL?? Did he just call for homosexual priests? Did he just call for both normal and lesbo women to be priests? Now I'm just a simple retired Master Sergeant of Marines... all I have is a double major Bachelors degree. But I think I'm smart enough to realize that this guy is going WAY beyond the pale. Hey Gumby, turn around.... see that line you just stepped over?
Now I know for a fact that His Holiness likes to swing by The Lair on a semi-regular basis, so when he does, I just gotta let him know; "Benny... goomba... you and me, we're tight, right? Paisan, do something about this strunzo, would ya Big Daddy? Thanks heaps.